Great Tool For Family Devotions

I don't know about you, but when it comes to getting all our children together at one time to do family worship, it is extremely challenging, especially when they were little. We strive to maintain this tradition 2-3 times a week, so I am always looking for tools to make it simpler and yet still bring out the truths of God's Word. But most times, my husband doesn't have the time to prepare something before hand.

I am thrilled to be able to tell you about, Kingdom Family Devotional, written by Tony and Jonathan Evans. The format is extremely easy to use. They break it down into 5 weekly lessons on the same subject and remain concise enough, even your little ones will stay tuned in. They include a fun activity to bring out the concept being learned. One night we were all dancing to our favorite tunes.

Being 10-15 minutes long, they are the perfect length for getting an important truth across without losing the listeners in the process.

As parents, we want our children to understand the Gospel and grasp all the Lord, their Creator has done for them to redeem them. This is a great tool to add to the tool chest.

Note: As a part of the Tyndale Blogging Network, I received a free copy of this book to review.

The Little Things

I don't want to appear ungrateful or to be complaining. I have used this blog in the past to journal about the many paths this life has taken me and the others here on the Ponderosa down.  And sometimes it's messy and sometimes it's ugly.  But I have confidence in the end that it will all be beautiful.

Yet the day to day can wear me down faster than when all my bigs were little.

Those of my friends who have children with struggles. Children who suffer from some sort of trauma. Do you ever just want to ditch it all in and run away? Run away where no one can find you? I am tired of hearing, " I hate you." Every single moment is filled with a fight. Every. Single. One. I am drop dead tired.

I find myself here today.

I have cried. I have prayed.

So today I turned to my Wall of Remembrance and read about the times I have journaled about the van God provided for us. Or the Happy Gotcha Day of each of my children. Or the money orders that came from anonymous people just when we needed it. Or someone that God put in our path to help steer our wayward lambs. I remember the day of my sweet daughter's baptism. I remember my 2 year old's cry for his mommy. I remember my oldest lamb's prayers when he was a tot. I remember all the believer's God has put in our lives and in our fledgling children's lives.

I remember God's faithfulness even when I am faithless. I struggle to believe. But like the Psalmist, I will remember.

All But Normal - Book Review

As I age and go through this life and all that comes my way, the one lesson I seem to take from whatever the current trial may be, is pushing through how to love unconditionally. Isn't this hard for all of us? When are enemies curse us, we just want to give what we think is deserving to that situation or person. When we are reviled, we want to revile in return.

Shawn Thornton, author of a new memoir, All But Normal, deals with this concept his entire life. But just imagine, that person who is mistreating you, being your mother. Not just your mother, but your mother, who can't help it because she has had a brain injury. Shawn's mother was injured in a car accident at the age of 14, was in a coma for 3 months and after a few years went on to marry the young man who was driving the car. Mr. Thornton grew up in a Christian home but daily dealt with verbal and sometimes physical abuse from his precious mother who loved Jesus and manifested that love when she was in her right mind.

His story is truly an inspiration. Just as his mom was to him. She taught him to love better, not
necessarily because she loved well. But she pointed him to Jesus who helped him to love well. As this story unfolded I kept waiting for everyone around her to give up. But they didn't! They kept loving well.

This story challenges the reader as well. How do I manifest love to others? Especially those who struggle to show love. We can't do it in the flesh, that's for sure. We need the help of the Holy Spirit. Not only, did Mr. Thornton learn this, but the Lord grew him to be a great teacher of the Word and Pastor to a flock in the body of Christ.

My take away is love as Jesus has loved us! This is true obedience. Bless your enemies! Look to Christ's example of not reviling in return.

Hard? Sure!

The right thing to do? YES! Forgiveness is key!

As a part of the Tyndale Blogger's Network, I received a free copy of this book.

Hats Off!!!

Some of us like change; others do not; still others think they do, but respond negatively once they are placed in the upsy-downsy spin cycle of change. That would be me most times.

And it is a time of change here on the Ponderosa. My big-little men have left the nest. They are on the journey that many of us take during our late teens and early twenties. A journey that can take one down a dark path. A journey that slams natural consequences in the face of the traveler. The sting is hard and fresh but many times God-ordained and life changing. This is my prayer.

My girls are headed down new roads as well. "Marie" will be a senior next year and as a young lady with special needs, she is headed into some new territory with volunteering and job placement and training. God has provided so many things in our path as of recently that show to be a great help. Schooling for her in pretty much done and now we are on to some serious life-skills preparation.

This will be my 14th year homeschooling. I will have my third senior in 3 years. But my youngest, "Inger" will be trying a new endeavor, "real" school, as she calls it. As a parent of 4 adopted children, I have tried with all my strength (and the help of the Lord) to wear all the hats required to be a mom, wife, teacher, friend, disciplinarian, etc., but after much prayer, we have a chosen a Christian School that seems to fit the needs of our sweetie. And the peace of God is ruling in our hearts make the last plans for our next school year. I never thought I would choose this route after home schooling for all these years, but I know it is time.

I have learned so much as a mom, wife, and daughter of the King as I have taught my children at home. But I have come to believe this year, that God sometimes changes the course we are on for our good and for a different outcome. I struggle with feelings of failure as I have not wanted to give up this "hat", but there are so many struggles relationally due to the aspect of adoption that I now sigh in relief that I can give someone else the duty of teaching Math, English and other needed things. I won't ever give up the rearing of her little heart and mind to know the things of God. I know this is my God-given job to do forever.

A Piece of My Heart

It is not supposed to be this way! It's time to let one of my lambs out of the pasture and find his way, but this is not happening in a way that is peaceful, nor hopeful, humanly speaking. My lamb is 19 and feels ready to face the wolves and thorns out there.

Deep down inside, I know he is not ready.

He may end up on a steep precipice bleating for help.

Parenting these lambs is so difficult. I want to be that person reaching down to save him. I want to keep him from falling any farther. My heart breaks as choices are made despite the edge he sees. There is no face to this man reaching down to help, but I know the only face that belongs to him. My God. My Savior. My Shepherd. At times my belief that he will be saved waivers. My hope diminishes.

This week I heard a message about 1 Corinthians 13 expounding on what true agape love is. My whole life I have heard sermons describing love. I have attended wedding after wedding where this Scripture was read aloud. Beautiful.

But, listen to this. LOVE BELIEVES ALL THINGS! LOVE HOPES ALL THINGS!

Emotions entangle truth. They drown it out altogether sometimes. So I have to go back to the Word that is the Breath of Life. The Bread that satisfies. The Living Water that quenches. I must believe because I love. I must hope because I love.

The pig sty may have a new visitor eventually. But I BELIEVE that God will pluck him out and set him on the road back home. I have hope in my Heavenly Father.

The skies have flown him to another state all together. I thought there would be no goodbyes. No see you laters. No hugs. No thank yous. No peace. But at least, I did get a hug with a mumbled, "I love you too."

My God's people are everywhere. My prayer during this separation is that God will search him out and not let him rest. That God will be the Hound of Heaven pursuing him at every turn.

Please pray for him too.

Finding a Little Gem of Hope

As I opened up the devotional book to read to my princesses today, I found myself mesmerized by a handwriting from yester-year! A handwritten note with letters that I hadn't seen for quite a while...maybe 12 years ago.

There was a faded highlight over certain words.

Forgive

He loves you

in your place

God has promised

forgiveness

turn away

Jesus as Lord and Savior

I immediately knew who wrote it, and tears came to my eyes. I was full of hope in the knowledge that somewhere deep inside one of my lambs was the introduction of eternal life, sin, hope, salvation, and promise. Somewhere along the way of life he has faltered and allowed many things to crowd out the most essential things. Hurt, pain, anger and idols, among other things, yet I have a renewed confidence in my powerful Savior that He is working all things together. The path looks ugly right now. It hurts.

There is separation and anxiety. There are choices being made that are damaging. But my God is a healer. Lord Jesus, help my unbelief.

But today, I was reminded that over the years, God has been faithful. There is a big boy who at one point in his life was a little boy with a tender heart. And I trust those truths received will not turn void. So I pray again today, as like every day, that God would do the miracle only He can do.

Brilliant Light

This last week, my oldest daughter and I went to an appointment for a program through our local school system, called Vocational Rehab. They offer free help for "special needs" students as they get close to graduation; in order to find jobs or even get vocational training. (Even though she has always been home schooled, we can still use this service.) My sweet "Marie" is a junior in high school, almost 17 years old. She entered this life with so many struggles. She continued persevering in life and school even though many things seemed to be against her. And she has become a beautiful woman who loves God with all her heart.

As we entered the appointment, her nerves were on edge and neither of us really knew what to expect. As we left the appointment, I wanted to just cry. She did an amazing job, although the amazing part wasn't her poise, or knowledge of what she could articulate. It was her love for Jesus and she had no inhibition to express why she lives the way she does. Her worldview screamed loud and clear. When questions were asked about her blog or about her relationships with her parents, it came down to, "I write about what Christ has done for me..." or "sometimes I disagree with my parents, but I know they are trying to protect me and help me to do what is right."

The counselor that interviewed her was stoic and did not express emotion either way to "Marie's" responses, but I would have loved to get in her head.

One thing I am certain of is this: my sweetie's light was bright that day. She allowed the world, especially the counselor, to see what she lives for. She can't tell you her birthday some days. She can't tell you what the date is, how much money a cashier needs to give her back, or what time it is. But she is confident of this one thing: HE WHO BEGAN THE WORK IN HER IS STILL WORKING AND WILL COMPLETE IT!

Happy 17th Happy Gotcha Day, Little Joe!

Another milestone this year. Another celebration of life. My Littlest Boy-Man is soon to be a man-man.

Seventeen years ago, this funny, music-loving little one came into our lives. We had 3 days to prepare for another baby. He and his new big brother instantly bonded. And now, here we are almost half-way into his senior year! We are proud of the young man he has become and look, with anticipation, to what the Lord will do in his life in the future.

Eight Years

Today marks the day that a special little girl came into our lives. 

Eight years ago a cute little button was moved in after a long couple of months of day visits. This sweet Hannah was in a home that took our hearts with her each time we had to leave her. Foster homes can be a difficult place and that's where our girl lived for almost 2 years before we were able to take her home.

Many days, my heart is wrenched by compassion at the decisions that adults make and how they affect little ones. My little lamb struggles in many ways. Most of all, how to love and accept love. 

So today, we remember that day well. And we are so grateful God chose her for our family. She has brought much joy to us. She has taught us how to love better too! Our prayer is that as she loves all God's creation she would see her Creator as glorious!  

The Plain Choice - Book Review

I have always been drawn to the Amish. I think most everyone is at some level. They live a very interesting life. A life that many people crave a bit of. Slow. Less distracted. Simple. Plain.

Personally, I have written many other books on the Amish or Mennonites and what they believe. I have read articles and books about others who have grown up in the communities and left them behind. This book was the exact opposite so I thought it would be interesting to hear Ms. Gore's story

The Plain Choice, written by Sherry Gore, is a down to earth story of her and her family's journey from poverty, homelessness, a life without Christ, and living for themselves, to one of salvation and simple choices. Sherry Gore grew up in a rather dysfunctional home and after many flawed attempts to bring happiness to her life, she was befriended by a believer in Jesus Christ. After Sherry came to know Jesus in a personal way, she was very convicted on many levels from dress, to television, to music; all the choices she made for her family afterward came from wanting to please the Lord and live drastically different than what she had. After she met the Amish/Mennonite communities, she knew this was where she would land to live and rear her children. She was thrown into many trials along the way; some extremely painful, but sees Jesus as her source of strength.

As I came to the end of the book, I was rather pleased at how she processed being part of this community as a believer. She never once said, "If you aren't living this way, you are in sin." She makes it very clear that the way she chooses to live is not works based salvation and that this is the plain choice for her and her family.

I respect that.

Note: As part of the booklook blogging network, I was given a free copy of this book.

'Til We Meet Again - Book Review

Everyone loves a great Love Story. But I love it when there's that extra dimension of the Ultimate Love Story. One of God's saving love.

Ray and Betty Whipps have written their beautiful story down in the book, 'Til We Meet Again'. Ray was a staff sergeant in the US Army and Betty was a nurse working in France during World War II. They met due to an injury inflicted on Ray out in the fields and foxholes of war. But were separated after only a month as he needed to go back to the war zone. After a time of separation, which included being taken prisoner at the notorious POW camp, Stalag VII-A, they were reunited and were married. They are now a beautiful elderly couple having raised seven children, along with grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Betty walks two miles every day at 94 years old. God has blessed them indeed.

 As I read this book, I was awestruck by a couple of things. First of all, we are losing the generation that Ray group up in, very quickly. There was a fortitude in these young men as they went off to war at a very early age that we have forgotten and have not passed down to the next generation. But, it was also very evident Ray had a strong faith in the Lord, who saw him through many life and death situations. Betty shares that strong faith from the get-go as well. Secondly, God's providence and sovereignty are seen so clearly! And it was particularly stunning to read about the truth I have so often heard, "There are no atheists in foxholes."

My gratitude to men like Ray Whipps is overwhelming. Men like these have fought courageously for the freedoms we enjoy today. I say, "Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Whipps. For your testimony. For your faith and perseverance in all the hard times you went through. Your light shone brightly."

America needs to continue to thank men and women like these two as well. I am trying to make an effort when I see someone in uniform to offer verbal thanks to their service.

(As a part of the Tyndale Blogging Network, I received a free copy of this book.)

God is the Color of Water

Almost two weeks an event happened in America that has affected, in a small way, our lives here on the Ponderosa. So much has happened in the world around us. I have waited to write about it until I felt timing was right.

I never imagined I would be having a discussion with my children about malicious hatred and a killing because of skin color in 2015. But Charleston occurred and now it is something I have to discuss. As the girls and I sat in a doctor's waiting room with the television tuned into Fox News on that frightful day, I sat with awe at what had transpired in South Carolina. I tossed around the thought in my mind to ask to change the channel, but I knew this was something I needed to be open with my children about.

They looked at the TV wide-eyed and then looked at me.

At that moment, I tried to feel what my girls were probably wondering. They didn't talk much but I thought for sure that this was a time that fear could grip them. I wanted to dispel all fears. I wanted them to know that not all white people believe what that one boy did/does. I wanted to point them to the Savior who died for ALL people who would place their complete trust in Him. I wanted them to feel love and compassion even for this individual who did this horrific thing. He needs Jesus too.

But I also wanted them to see the sin that so easily besets all of us. Sin of thinking we are better than someone else who lives differently than we do. Or is poor. Or is living a lifestyle contrary to God's Word. Or you name it. Pride is such a slippery slope.

My children are growing up in such a difficult time. Evil is called good. Good is called evil. We must look to the standard of Christ and His Word. We must a Gospel-Centered vision. Whatever comes our way, or people come into our paths we must see it as an opportunity to proclaim truth through Jesus Christ.

As I pondered the event from two weeks ago, I reminded myself of these things. I love my children so hard. They are born of my heart.  I love their different shades. We are a family. A family put together by a God who sees no color. I am thankful that we can shine His light.

Yes, I struggled with a vengeful heart, wanting that boy to hurt just like those families do, but, quickly, realized my heart of unforgiveness was just as sinful. I want more than anything to have a world that is full of love and peace. But, am fully aware that this will never happen until Jesus comes back. So until then, we have a mandate to share to the lost world about the Prince of Peace and the God of Love who loved so hard He gave His only Son to die for those who would repent and believe.

And so many still reject!

Let's be about our mission!

The Good, The Bad, and the Grace of God

All too familiar is the scenario of getting "hooked" into a reality T.V. show. And once you get there it is difficult to see those characters through the lens of true reality.

So reading Jep and Jessica Robertson's new book, The Good, the Bad, and the Grace of God, sets your sights on who the Robertsons really are. They truly seem like the real deal. They reveal their struggles, faith-lapses, and renewal of love. No marriage is perfect, and it is always encouraging to read the lives of true to life individuals who are honest about their lives, everything about their lives. It is a testimony to the grace of God.

I have watched their show a few times and always walk away with the importance of family, faith and humor. This is evident in their book as well. Family and the training Jep received as a youngster and teen comes back to life in his own life a few years later. God is the God who redeems and restores and renews.

Thank you, Jep and Jessica, for being transparent and honest and truly seeing the reality of your lives.

Note: I received a free copy of this book as part of the Booklook Bloggers Network.

A Story About LIFE!

I love a good book....(as if you couldn't tell..)

Better yet, I love true stories that inspire courage, choosing joy and unconditional love. 

Bella's gift, written by Rick and Karen Santorum, along with their daughter, Elizabeth, tells of this family's journey as Karen gives birth to Bella, their 8th child. But, profoundly, their story starts a few months before this, when they are given the devastating news that something might be wrong with their "surprise" baby. And, in turn, doctors giving their "two-cents" about what is best. 

Their faith is tested, their marriage is tried, 

but they come out the other side with stronger faith and a stronger family. 

In a time, when there is little trust in the realm of politics, it is beautiful to see a politician's family being a real family. A husband putting his marriage and wife first. (That's why he dropped out of the presidential race...I vaguely remember this.) A father putting his family first. Rick and Karen's love for each other is concretely seen in how they work through the birth and life of their precious Bella. Most children born with her condition pass away within the first year. They have loved her through to 7 years. But ultimately, we know God is the giver of life and taker of breath. They know this too.

Each day is a new day to be blessed with their daughter and they do an amazing job of chronicling all the struggles and blessings. 

As a personal comment, their faith is rooted deeply in the Catholic religion. Although I will not discredit their confession of faith in Jesus, I do get concerned when the lines are blurred as thickly as they are in this book. Salvation is by faith alone, through grace alone on the only Jesus Christ.

P.S. As a part of the blogging network through Thomas Nelson, I received a free copy of this book.

An Amazing Woman

I still have dreams about her. I often wake from those dreams thinking she is still with me. Alive. Here on Earth. Then I remember.

She's gone. Still Alive. But gone.

It has been five years today since Mom went home to be with the Lord.

Every year I consider a different aspect of the legacy Mom left. This year I have thought so much over what she gave in the years when I was 4 years old until 13. My life could have been very different if Jesus had not intervened in my parent's lives as well as mine.

When I was two years old, they were ready with papers to file for divorce. My dad came to Christ and soon after my mom did as well. This started them on another path. One of giving of their lives for others, specifically, teens at risk. They became foster parents for teenagers. Many boys and girls came into our lives, for just a season. But I know one of change for them. For most heard about Jesus, maybe for the first time. During these years, I am told there were struggles. I am told money was sparse. I am told life was difficult. I didn't know any of these things until I was older. NEVER.

My dad worked at IBM; my mom stayed home. She babysat for extra money and led Back Yard Bible Clubs. They both had Bible Studies with other couples. They counseled couples. We were able to attend a Christian School. We went to Lake Drive Baptist Church two times on Sunday and every Wednesday. It was 45 minutes from home. Priorities were made and the Lord blessed.

Their heart's desire was to start a full time ministry, a home for teens. The Potter's Wheel, this was to be called. I still remember the dark gray farmhouse they had found in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. But the Lord had other plans. The current house we lived in would not sell. And through God's great providence, we ended up moving down to Florida so our family could be closer to Grammy Stebbins, my Father's mother, who was dying from cancer. And years later, am thankful, as I look as my beloved and give thanks.

Looking back on these few memories from life and childhood, I remember how constant my mother was. I know my love for adoption and the desires to help hurting children and even my love for Biblical Counseling was fostered through her (and my dad's) examples. We are still in contact with some of those teens that grew up and now have families of their own. We see the hurting couples that my parent's helped, thriving and doing well.

My mom loved well. For this I remember her today.

I Had a Son Named Elisha

Ten years ago today, a 10 month old little boy was placed in my arms.

We named him Elisha.

He was a special needs baby who desperately needed a loving home. He was cross-eyed and had kidney failure. He couldn't turn over or hold his head up. But instantly, I was his mom. For the first time in my adoptive mothering I held him next to my bare chest and attempted to nurse him. I envisioned taking him to therapy, as I had done with some of my other lambs. I knew from experience love could conquer so much and his life would never be the same. His smile lit up his face. He had cute little dimples. His new family did nothing but dote on him from the time we brought him home from South Florida.

But our life was never the same.

On the third day of becoming his family, we received a dreaded phone call. Our attorney called to let us know that his birth mother called and changed her mind. (Florida Law states that if a baby is over 6 months old, she has 3 days to change her decision.)

My world crashed down around me. I held my dear Elisha all night and wept, not understanding why. Some dear friends took our older three children the next day and I said goodbye to my precious son, whom I had already born from my heart. My dear love took him and his possessions and met our attorney at the train station to hand him over to the woman who bore him. Mr. Cartwright had the perspective that I wish I could have had. As he handed my sweet Elisha to her, he spoke to her kindly and compassionately. He told her that there is Someone Who knows her pain. Someone Who gave up His only Son to death.

For Her. For Elisha. For the world.

And then proceeded to give her the Gospel message.

Days passed. The tears were fewer. Until 2 weeks later.

I received a telephone call from a detective. The words pierced my soul. My hands were shaking. "I am calling in reference to the death of an infant that has previously been in your care." WHAT!!!???!

Yes, Elisha was dead. Stories did not add up and there was an investigation of possible foul play. Pain ripped through my heart. The ending and outcome of this part of our story is still unknown. I never heard back as to what occurred.

On the other hand, I became angry. No, not a soul knew, but my own. I wrestled and wrestled. God was patient. I learned so much through this difficult time.

There are times in our lives when there are no answers. There is no understanding as to why. But one thing I learned is God is still to be trusted. Elisha is in a much better place than he would have been for the rest of his young days. I don't know why God chose to take him home. Even if someone else made the human decision to end his life, God still was sovereign over it.

Today as decisions need to be made concerning other things in my life, I can still trust my Creator.  I know pain seems so strong. But God's grace and love is stronger.

Who knows? Maybe the woman who carried Elisha and gave birth came to know my Savior through all of this. Though we will never know, GOD IS TRUSTWORTHY!

Overwhelming Fear and Grief...But God

If you are feeling as I am today. Fearful. Shaky. Angry. Anxious. Distant from God.

Then please listen to this.

God knew I needed it.

Now my bottle of tears is overflowing again. But God actually knows how many I've cried.

Mother: The Definition

(This an extremely honest post of my journaling through this difficult path. For eighteen years I have lifted up and praised the gift givers of my four precious lambs. I will continue to do so. But for today I lay my bare heart open.)

Two mothers means lots of questions and many mixed emotions.

My boy-man is caught up in these emotions.

And so am I.

I keep asking myself, "What makes a mother? A mom? A mommy?"

Giving birth is one aspect but essentially a small part. Eighteen years of being present. Changing diapers. Wiping noses. Mingling tears. Holding hands through the good and hard times. Hearing sweet words whispered in one's ear. Whispering "I love you too". Being there through the difficult, painful years of torn identity. 

Now before some of you misunderstand what I am saying, please let me explain. I have NO idea the immense pain one feels when giving birth then placing that bundle in someone else's arms. I can't even imagine being able to have the strength to do so. 

But I want to speak my heart today. Can one just expect to come back years later and talk about "being mom" and her "child" coming "home"?

These questions are on the tip of my heart all day. Every day.

And there may never be answers.

So as my wise pastor reminded me this week, "You have the opportunity to show forth the second greatest picture of the Gospel. The adoption of God's children. He reached down to save wretched sinners and adopt us not by anything we have done. ONLY BY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!"

That's the kicker; the hardest thing in life, by far. To keep loving when rejected. 

In reality all the above issues come down to a heart issue. If Christ is central, others would be next. If Christ is Lord in the lives of everyone involved then there would be the ability to have positive resolutions. 

So today I pray for the hearts of those involved. That Christ would be Lord and Master.

I am confident Hoss will at some point truly remember who his "mother" is but until then I look to the cross.

Another Special Trip

As I write this, my precious gift of 18 years ago, is flying hundreds of miles to meet the gift giver. 

I met this gift giver at the same airport that my boy-man flew out of this morning just a short 18 years ago. This beautiful bundle was placed in my arms and the mommy-love flowed immediately. 

And has never stopped. 

And is even more strong. 

This love raised this gift. This love has shed millions of tears over the anguish of adoption. This love desires to understand the pain of my boy. This love has led to this day. Love is honest. So a piece of my heart is in the air as I write this.

I never knew such joy could mingle with such pain. I guess it's like birth. Birthing a piece of me from my heart. 

I am truly grateful and happy my SON will get answers to the pain he has felt for so many years, yet my heart cries out in fear of loss. 

So each breath I take today and tomorrow and the next day will look to my Savior and His Word to remind me of His truth. I will fight through the lies and I will strive to be thankful.

The Last Page

Well, not really. But kinda.

It is January 28th. Another Happy Gotcha Day. For Hoss. His 18th.

Every year since the day we received our little munchkins, we have added pages to their Happy Gotcha Day books. Just a simple photo book. The first few memories are pictures of the "final court date". The date the papers were signed that they are ours. Then each year after that we celebrate by doing something as a family, which usually includes food. In the later years it was JUST food. We write them a letter expressing our gratitude to the Lord and listing many reasons we are grateful.

Because of some teen struggles, Hoss has empty pages, except for our yearly letters which were sent to him via mail and also copied and put into his book. 

With the beauty of the journey comes pain. 

With joy comes sorrow. 

With age comes questions. 

With time comes answers...in the right time. 

So today we write his letter and chow down on some chicken tenders. We close his book with this final page. But praise the Sovereign Creator the end of the story isn't over. Praise Him that He has written it and we can trust him.

There are still lots of questions. Not so much anger. Plenty of laughs. Seldom tears. 

Our dear Hoss,

One book closes and another opens. We are celebrating your 18th Happy Gotcha Day! We remember like it was yesterday. Those tiny fingers. Your constant cooing. Your soft, curly hair. Your early words that charmed our hearts. The "I love yous". The funny times with your siblings. Then one day, you grew up. Where has time gone?

You are closer than ever to understanding a parent'


s heart. One day, you will probably be a parent. You may feel the need for more answers. We are here for you whatever and wherever the answers find you. 

We love you. Three little words that mean so much! 

We do.

Lovingly,Your daddy and mommy