It is not supposed to be this way! It's time to let one of my lambs out of the pasture and find his way, but this is not happening in a way that is peaceful, nor hopeful, humanly speaking. My lamb is 19 and feels ready to face the wolves and thorns out there.
Deep down inside, I know he is not ready.
He may end up on a steep precipice bleating for help.
Parenting these lambs is so difficult. I want to be that person reaching down to save him. I want to keep him from falling any farther. My heart breaks as choices are made despite the edge he sees. There is no face to this man reaching down to help, but I know the only face that belongs to him. My God. My Savior. My Shepherd. At times my belief that he will be saved waivers. My hope diminishes.
This week I heard a message about 1 Corinthians 13 expounding on what true agape love is. My whole life I have heard sermons describing love. I have attended wedding after wedding where this Scripture was read aloud. Beautiful.
But, listen to this. LOVE BELIEVES ALL THINGS! LOVE HOPES ALL THINGS!
Emotions entangle truth. They drown it out altogether sometimes. So I have to go back to the Word that is the Breath of Life. The Bread that satisfies. The Living Water that quenches. I must believe because I love. I must hope because I love.
The pig sty may have a new visitor eventually. But I BELIEVE that God will pluck him out and set him on the road back home. I have hope in my Heavenly Father.
The skies have flown him to another state all together. I thought there would be no goodbyes. No see you laters. No hugs. No thank yous. No peace. But at least, I did get a hug with a mumbled, "I love you too."
My God's people are everywhere. My prayer during this separation is that God will search him out and not let him rest. That God will be the Hound of Heaven pursuing him at every turn.
Please pray for him too.