Who Are We Relying On?

When it comes to the burdens of life, my goals, aspirations, fears, dreads, and joys, I find myself way too overcome. Way too often. This stems from many different things, one of which is (MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF) fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of making the wrong decisions. Fear of hurt, pain, ridicule. Fear of failure. Fear of man. Fear of rejection. I often recognize this but for some reason wallow in this than to do the right, next thing. I need wisdom!

James 1:5 reminds us where our wisdom comes from:

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

And this asking involves prayer. This is one area that our over-confident, individualized and self-centered culture is good at avoiding. This seems to be our "last resort" instead of first impulse.

Isaiah reminds the people of Israel this. He gives two little lines of soul-searching, knife-piercing insight to the reason for the judgment coming on Israel.

Isaiah 22:11b

But you never ask for help from the One who did all this.
    You never considered the One who planned this long ago.

These two little lines reveal the depths of the human heart when we try to live this life apart from our Creator. We need His help and no matter what we are going through, we must consider His sovereignty and perfect plan for our lives.

So whether you are fearing the violent acts of international/national terrorism or striving to understand or live in the midst of the social injustices taking place in our country, be certain of this. HE KNOWS! HE SEES! HE WILL REMAIN FAITHFUL! But, we must seek wisdom in all these things.

So I seek Him today.

Precious Jesus, As I sit here speaking to You, I am rejoicing that you are a LIVING God. You are fully aware of my plight as well as those in China, France, and Baton Rouge. I am reminded of your faithfulness in my life as I look back on decisions we faced, then made and no without a shadow of a doubt that you gave us the wisdom we needed.

Today, God, there is a part of my heart that is in a battle over fear. Fear for my childrens' futures, but for their present day as well. You promise wisdom, so I am asking. I am asking for healing for our nation, but most of all for your body. We are so divided right now. Bring reconciliation. Help us all to look outside of our own feelings and "rights" and see you desire for us to live loving one another more important than ourselves. This is when Your bride will be at her most beautiful state. Reflecting Your Light. Showing the Glory of You in all of creation, especially in each ethnic race as fearfully and wonderfully made.

As our freedoms in this life seem to diminish more and more, sometimes on a daily level, empower us to live in that contradiction; wanting freedom but ever knowing that true freedom comes as we give ourselves as slaves and bondservants to you. Empower us by your Holy Spirit to trust you and live by an active faith.

Sometimes, Lord, I seem to be a broken record, but I know you want me to keep asking, seeking, and knocking. You promise to lavish us with wisdom when we ask you without doubting. So please do this Lord. For Your Name's Sake.

Loving Through the Tough Times

I can't reiterate enough how important it is to keep loving our kids through the difficult and trying years. This is where God has me learning right now. Life is so complicated, but I am confident of one thing.

God loves His disciples through all their sin and rebellion. 

And so must we.

I read this amazing and timely blog today and was so encouraged to keep learning to love.

I want my children to know that no matter what decisions they make, I am their mama and that will never change. Yes, we have had to confront sin as sin, but I pray that I can love just the same as if they were living for the Lord.

(Sorry if this mantra is too often repeated as I write. I'm preaching to the choir.)

God help me to love like he does.

My Thoughts Exactly

I opened my inbox and this was here today.

Dear Mrs. Cowell, you have spoken my heart today. Thank you for your example of endurance. I, too, am weary. Your devotional and my dear friend's spoken word have helped to revive me.

Thank you Jesus for the body of Christ.

A Tired Soul

That's me.

I don't know about you, but I believe it might be true of you too. Parenting is such a difficult and tiring road.

So today I am meditating on these verses.

Matthew 11:28-30
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

He is the Prince of Peace. He is the Burden Bearer. He promises rest.

In light of this I want to love well too. I find myself so snappy and on edge when I am worn out. Sleep is important, but I love the days like today when I wake early without an alarm with prayers on my lips. I know the Spirit tends to do this when my heart is heavy and burdened. So I tossed and turned hoping to pray myself to sleep. But to no avail. I arose. I grabbed my Bible, journal and Devotional book (Disciplines of a Godly Woman, by Barbara Hughes) and put the coffee on. Three o'clock seemed a tad too early, but I always end up treasuring those days that I rise and have much more time than usual. Today was one of those days.

Though my body and mind were up when many others are resting, God met me and gave me rest in Him. My heart was heavy. My burdens were many. Six-thirty came and I was rested. My Jesus helped me to focus on Him and His will for my life.

Oh. What a great added dimension too. My lover, "Mr. Cartwright", was part of this morning. Nothing does a heart more good in marriage than when you read God's Word together. I love that man!

Justice and Mercy

God met us today in a big way. (There were critical decisions made regarding "Hoss'" future.)

He is the perfect balance between justice and mercy. At the cross, this is most vividly seen. 

As we go through this trial and valley with "Hoss", we are truly coming to realize the Perfect Father's love for His own adopted children. At times, I thought all hope was gone and was so tempted to give up on my boy/man.

Thank God for grace.

Thank God for mercy. 

Thank God for redemption.

I am also reminded of this: "For this child I prayed. And God answered."

I am also struck at God's amazing provisions. My hard working husband has been giving an abundance of side work. And today, we received a check for overpayment from the hospital that "Hoss" was at last summer when he broke his hand after bull riding. Can't remember ever a time when that happened!

God is good all the time!

A Wall of Prayer

I have an idea.

And I would love your help.

The Puebla Ponderosa knows there are many people out there who have been praying for "Hoss". For God to do a work of redemption, forgiveness and reconciliation. Right now this seems like an impossibility, but I know our God is a God of miracles. I struggle with unbelief. So to help my unbelief, I am asking that any of you who have been praying to please send me a letter or prayer to "Hoss" that I can post on a wall in our home and eventually put in a book for him to have in the future. I want him to see with his own eyes the testimony and prayers of others and how God acted. 


I don't presume that things will go better from here on out. In fact, we are experiencing much more fracture in our relationship as of late, but as Charles Spurgeon says, "Never give up praying, even when Satan suggests that prayer is in vain....If the heavens are brass and your prayer only echoes above your head, pray on!If month after month your prayer appears to be miscarried, if you have had no answer, continue to draw close to the Lord. Do not abandon the mercy seat for any reason. If it is a good thing that you have been asking for, and  if you are sure that it is according to the divine will, wait, tarry, pray, weep, plead, wrestle, and agonize until you get what you are praying for." - Beside Still Waters, pg.242


This is our prayer. If you would like to be part of this, please email us anything from a letter to "Hoss" or a prayer for him to  pueblas4jesus@tampabay.rr.com.


How exciting to envision us being able to present a book to him one day full of testimonies, prayers and encouragement by people he may never meet.


Let's storm the gates of heaven!

A Poem of Prayer

Can You Trust Me, Child? 

Can you trust Me, child?
Not only for ultimate eternity,
of which you know next to nothing,
and so are not tempted to meddle-
But for the little span of you life between…
the Now and Then, where you envision
decline and separations and failures,
impairments, pain, bereavements, disappointments-
Do you find Me qualified to be Lord of your last days?
Oh-yes, Lord! YES, Lord! Yes and amen!

Can you trust Me, child?
Not only to synchronize the unthinkable
intricacies of creation-
But to work together for good the gravities
and tugs within your little orbit,
where your heart is pulled by needs
and lacks you wish, but are destitute, to fill-
Do you find My resources adequate
to feed both the sparrow and you?
Oh-yes, Lord! Yes, Lord! Yes and amen!

Can you trust Me, child?

Not only for the oversight of nations
and creations not of this world-
But for those beloved ones I committed
to you and you committed to Me-
Do you believe Me trustworthy to perform
the good work begun in them
until the Day of Jesus Christ?
Oh-yes, Lord! Yes, Lord! Yes and amen!

by Ann Blochir, written during her fight with cancer that eventually took her life.

A Hard Lesson For a 4 year old

My littlest one is facing a trial most 4 year olds don't face and one that most adults struggle to get through.

She misses her big brother.

Restless nights take over.

Screams are heard through the night.

Tears are unceasing.

The pain she feels only comes out when the darkness comes.

What do you say?

The only answer lies in trusting our Good Shepherd.

My prayer is that this uncertain time in her life will prepare her little heart for her future...a future of faith in God.

Soft, reassuring words are whispered through the night to her little heart

Prayers are uttered my her mama for a peace in her soul.

Tears are still flowing. This time not just from the little lass.

Psalm 116:1 I love the Lord, because He hears my voice and my supplications.

Dependency in Prayer

I will get back to Kay Arthur's book in the next post, but I read this quote over on Joshua Harris' blog and couldn't resist posting it here. This is one of the best quotes I've read on understanding the conflict between trusting in the sovereignty of God and prayer. Dependency is the key.

"[W]e must keep in mind that the Spirit of God is sovereign over when and how he works through the instruments of prayer. He certainly hears our requests and responds to them. But it's not for us to question the purposes and actions of his sovereign will. Instead we're to submit to and accept whatever he has for us. And as we respond to his answers to our prayers, we must continue to acknowledge our dependence on him through more prayer. As we cycle through our prayers and his answer in this way, our dependency grows. No wonder those who regularly practice this spiritual discipline often speak of there being power in prayer. The more prayer, the more dependency; the more dependency, the more power. The source of power is not the prayer; it is the Holy Spirit, who uses prayer as a means of grace through which he provides the power." - Jerry Bridges & Bob Bevington