Help for Knowing How to Pray for our Children

Parenting is the hardest job on earth. Your body and mind are taxed unendingly. Recently, I found a wonderful help in this task.

Nancy Guthrie, a wonderful Bible teacher, wrote a book that points us, parents, back to the essentials of how to parent. Look to the Word of life.

Praying Through the Bible for Your Kids, takes you through a theme each day using multiple passages of Scripture and she fleshes those out for you. Unlike other books I have read, Nancy doesn't just give prayers for us to pray for our children. She also gives us challenging thoughts from Scripture on how to parent and pray in sequence to what the Lord desires of us as believing parents. She not only tackles the struggles a parent feels toward their children, but helps us to think differently about our desires, tasks, and ultimately, our heart towards the Lord in our own spiritual walks.

This has been a timely read as I am, personally, in the throws of 3 older teens and one tween. I look forward each day to the wisdom she imparts. There are no frills, just deep Biblical teaching. This is life to my soul as I travel down this journey each day of parenting.

As a part of the Tyndale Blogging Network, I received a free copy of this book.

The Longing in Me - Book Review

Many of us (in my age group) remember Sheila Walsh as a contemporary music artist who came on the scene in the '80s. Her story is much more.

This is my second book review of a book written by Sheila Walsh. The Longing in Me is the story of
how her first marriage came to be and how and why it ended. But bigger than that is the story of how Jesus got ahold of her life after so many others tried to destroy it. Sheila was raised in a very dysfunctional home, where many things occurred that many of us could never imagine. As Sheila aged, she reached out for security in many different forms and ended up in an abusive relationship. Through all of this God was drawing her heart and giving her the longing for something bigger.

As she writes this journey down in ink, she brings us through a study of the life of King David. In a beautiful way, she likens so many of the areas in our lives we struggle with to the life of this "Man After God's Own Heart".
God takes us through so many trial in life to teach us to trust in His sovereignty as we see His amazing love poured out on us. We are all pieces of the big story. Everything in our lives that happens both good and bad, is to push our gaze on the One who holds all things together, even when it seems they are falling apart.

Sheila Walsh does a great job in encouraging us in this journey.

As a part of the BookLook Bloggers Network, I received a free copy of this book.

Fruit....After 5 years!

Sometimes you plant a seed and the next day there is a green sprout emerging from the earth. Sometimes it takes 5 years. This is what happened with my pineapple plant. Five years ago, we cut the tops off of 2 pineapples that we bought and stuck them in the ground, having been told they grow into a plant. Sure enough they grew huge but failed to give any fruit. Each year we waited and waited. No fruit.

That is until this year. Someone gave me a hint of how to speed up the process or help out our little plants that seemed to have lacked enough of something to make their fruit. (If you are that person, thank you and so, sorry I forgot who. :) She told me to stick an apple core right in the middle of the plant....sure enough. Two beautiful pineapple started growing. As I stand and water these babies each morning, a thought struck me.

Isn't this so much like our spiritual lives?

So often, we get in our ruts and it seems that we are at a standstill. We are being watered. We are getting plenty of sun. We are huge plants with long, green leaves. We look healthy from all accounts. But we lack fruit. We need an infusion. We lack passion. We need to examine ourselves. We need God's Word to infiltrate our inner souls. He offers everything we need to produce this fruit. We must if we are His children.

It also reminds me of parenting. The long road of parenting. Wouldn't it be nice if we spoke to our children and poof!! Obedience appears! First time obedience at that. The hard heads are gone. The hearts are soft. But often it takes years for us to see if the fruit is there and when it appears it isn't quite the size of my beautiful pineapple. It is a little dried up grape. I am reminded that this process takes perseverance and patience.  It takes the power of prayer. It takes unconditional love. It takes Christ's ability in us to not give up. Believing that He is the Father of the Fruit! For He is the One producing in us the fruit.

After I harvest these beautiful spiked fruit, I will prune some of the dead dry fronds around the base of the plant. This will help it stay healthy and hopefully, help it to produce in a more efficient way. Again, this is a process that may seem painful to the plant but will spur on growth. My Gardener does this in my life in so many ways. Trials that don't seem to be disappearing in a manner that I would like. Rejection of those I love with all my heart. Anxiety that wakes me in the middle of the night. When these arise, I turn to my Gardener and very often desire to say, "OK. Enough already." But I am reminded that these hard times are the very ones that produce the fruit He desires to see in me. He must strip away all the dead leaves. He must prune. He must cut as close to the base as possible. But I trust He knows best.

For He created me and knows my every thought and He deems what is best.

I trust. I trust. I trust. (I don't always. So I say this in faith that will hopefully become a reality.)

Hope Heals - Book Review

Wow! Wow! Wow!

Just Wow!

I haven't read a book for a long time that I had to keep putting down to cry. But not to cry because of sadness. But to praise the Lord for His hope. To praise Him for the bad times. To praise Him because He knows what is best for our lives.

My next book review is one that took me only one day to read because I could not put it down!


Hope Heals, written by Katherine and Jay Wolf, is their incredible story of a the seeming destruction of a new life started together. After having been married a short while and having a surprise pregnancy ending in a beautiful baby boy, life dramatically changed. Katherine suffered a stroke. The kind of stroke that normally kills its victim. But God had different plans. I couldn't imagine going through all they did. Katherine went from being a physically beautiful woman to a woman who many people in the world would stare and gawk at. But as the story unravels, her beauty becomes a powerful expression of character and deep faith in their Creator.

And Mr. and Mrs. Wolf do an amazing job at giving God all the glory for their lives and story. The incredible pain that they went through, the rallying of other believers walking alongside them during this ordeal, the testimony to numerous staff members at the hospitials; all these things make this story such an encouragement. No matter what your life is full of or empty from, this is a book that will minister to the very depths of your heart.


As a part of the Booklook Blogging Network, I received a free copy of this book.

Letters of Encouragement

This week marks a special time in the life of a special ministry. Joni and Friends is a unique ministry started by Joni Earickson Tada after her life was radically changed by a swimming accident 40+ years ago. She is quadriplegic who testifies daily of God's grace in her life via her radio spot.

The girls and I have been listening to it via podcast weekly and it has become a great thing to catch up on while we are on the road too. Joni is one of my spiritual heroes. She has truly been used in so many ways to speak the truth of God's Word and His will.

This week on her program she has started a series called, Hearts for the Handicapped. Each day, for a week, she highlights a special family, and gives the listener an opportunity to write to encourage that family. The disabilities may include anything from autism to paralysis.

So as part of our school week we have incorporated a time to pray and write to these families.

It gives us perspective.

Living Out the Talk

Words come so easy. But when the rubber hits the road, so often what we have said is certainly hard to live out.

Job's friend, Eliphaz, reminds him of this truth.

Job 4:3-6

³ “In the past you have encouraged many people;
    you have strengthened those who were weak.
⁴ Your words have supported those who were falling;
    you encouraged those with shaky knees.
⁵ But now when trouble strikes, you lose heart.
    You are terrified when it touches you.
⁶ Doesn’t your reverence for God give you confidence?
    Doesn’t your life of integrity give you hope?

Job's friends didn't do such a great job in the area of encouragement amidst his tremendous suffering, yet as I read these verses today, I thought of how these truths in our lives flesh out.

"Everything will be ok."

"Trust God. He knows what He's doing."

"God is sovereign over all. Doesn't that bring you peace?"

"Fight for joy."

These are all things I have said in the past to others in the midst of trials. Yet, I know when I have been in the midst of my own suffering that sometimes I just want  people to sit with me and be still and quiet.

And I have doubted all these truths. I have strayed from trusting. I have asked, "WHY?". I have been terrified. I have lost heart.

But two things I know for sure. My confidence must be in my Savior; even when my feelings are frail. My hope lies in Him and Him alone.

And these truths won't ever change! Even when I doubt. Even when I fear. Even when I feel far from my Savior.

Kiss the Wave

Thanks to my pastor that is teaching through the Psalms I am trying to do the impossible. In C.H.Spurgeon's words, "I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages."

I am striving to learn this and as a fellow believer in Christ, I bet you can relate. Whether it is financial strain, unsaved loved ones, a struggling marriage, health concerns, or a rebellious child; the "stuff" that our Savior allows in our life is designed to throw us against Him. Now the hard part comes in whether we fight against the wave or whether we embrace it as for our good.

He is the Rock of Ages that will not allow us to drown, even though the waves seem to be taking us under. We must trust Him and believe that with all our hearts! 

So pucker up friend! Though the water of tears is salty, our Rock will be our Refuge!

Biblical Happiness

Joy is something all believers have to fight for. I have heard it said, "One chooses to be joyful. It is an act of the will." Yet, it seems so often directly related to our emotions. And this, I find, is where we believe a lie.

As I read Randy Alcorn's new book, Happiness, I was challenged afresh by many things; First and foremost, accepting the word happiness as synonymous with joy. He directed the reader to dive in and learn what the original languages in the Bible say in reference to happiness and proved quite successfully that happiness is a Biblical truth. So often, in Christian circles, we shy away from the word happiness, possibly, because it denotes more of a emotional response, and even more possibly, because the world mostly uses it in a way to describe their own joy. A joy that is a response to circumstances.

Mr. Alcorn reminds us that we have the ultimate reason for happiness. Our happiness should be found in our deep-seated faith and love in our Savior. Our happiness shouldn't be founded on our emotions, but our emotions are a God-given resource in which we can express all that God has done. Our happiness as believers comes from truth. The Truth, The Life. The Way.

This book is loaded with truth. It really is a theological study on happiness and how it fleshes out in a believer's life. It can be a bit overwhelming at times. The reader must take it slow and try to digest each section he lays out. Happiness is also a great reference book to redirect our minds when we are in the struggle for joy. This one will be next to my Bible study helps on my shelf for a long time.

Note: As part of the Tyndale Blogging Network, I received a free copy of this book.

I Will NOT Give Up!

"My plans are made. While I can, I sail east in the Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I paddle east in my coracle [small boat]. When she sinks, I shall swim east with my four paws, and when I can swim no longer, if I’ve not reached Aslan’s country, I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise."

These words were spoken by Reepacheep in the Narnia book, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. When the warriors and the characters of the book are weary and wanting to give up, he reminds them of the final goal. 

We must keep our sights set! We must keep our aim on the eternal. This life becomes weary of suffering, of trials, of pain. We too often think, we can't keep going. But Jesus' promises are true.

Psalm 199:50 reminds us : "My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life."

He will not forget us, Beloved. When the ground gives way, He will catch us. When we take our last breath, He will welcome us. When we cry such tears we feel we are drowning, He counts all of our tears and knows. Knows how many we have shed. Knows the pain our hearts and bodies feel. Knows that we are but dust; frail and incompetent to continue on our own.

Beloved, we too, need to have our aim on Beulah Land! Our Great God and Father will welcome His children home at the end and we can have peace and hope now on the this side of eternity. He desires we use all the things He brings into our lives to bring Him glory and shine forth as shining gold. 

So, just like Reepacheep, no matter what obstacles come our way we keep going. We seek for strength from the the Almighty "Aslan".

The Plain Choice - Book Review

I have always been drawn to the Amish. I think most everyone is at some level. They live a very interesting life. A life that many people crave a bit of. Slow. Less distracted. Simple. Plain.

Personally, I have written many other books on the Amish or Mennonites and what they believe. I have read articles and books about others who have grown up in the communities and left them behind. This book was the exact opposite so I thought it would be interesting to hear Ms. Gore's story

The Plain Choice, written by Sherry Gore, is a down to earth story of her and her family's journey from poverty, homelessness, a life without Christ, and living for themselves, to one of salvation and simple choices. Sherry Gore grew up in a rather dysfunctional home and after many flawed attempts to bring happiness to her life, she was befriended by a believer in Jesus Christ. After Sherry came to know Jesus in a personal way, she was very convicted on many levels from dress, to television, to music; all the choices she made for her family afterward came from wanting to please the Lord and live drastically different than what she had. After she met the Amish/Mennonite communities, she knew this was where she would land to live and rear her children. She was thrown into many trials along the way; some extremely painful, but sees Jesus as her source of strength.

As I came to the end of the book, I was rather pleased at how she processed being part of this community as a believer. She never once said, "If you aren't living this way, you are in sin." She makes it very clear that the way she chooses to live is not works based salvation and that this is the plain choice for her and her family.

I respect that.

Note: As part of the booklook blogging network, I was given a free copy of this book.

Book Review - The Tank Man's Son

A story like no other.

Mark Bouman, author of The Tank Man's Son, endured more than most as a child of a dysfunctional father. He grew up in terror and fear, never knowing if and when the fury of his father would be unleashed! The heartache and physical pain he endured was difficult to read about, but so worth it in light of the end of the story. Tears flowed as I read about the redemption of Mark's soul, but even more tears flowed when I read how God used all the evil done against him to prepare him for the work the Lord had for him to do. Having access to great biographies like this, remind me (again) that the story is not over until death. God is still writing!

This true to life story is one of courage, faith, redemption and an amazing, accurate vision of the sovereignty of God. It is a modern day story of Joseph.

Truly, what man meant for evil, God meant for good.

An amazing story of love and forgiveness!

A must read!

Note: As part of the Tyndale Bloggers Network, I received a free copy of this book.

The Heartache of Disappointments

Sometimes life just happens.

That's what the world believes, but not this lady. (Although, sometimes I feel it and have to speak truth to myself.)

I found myself telling my littlest (again) about God's best plan for us (His sovereignty) when some plans got cancelled and the disappointment kicked in. (Along with her legs and voice!!) As I spoke to her yesterday about her response, I was totally convicted about the way I handled my weekend and my own disappointments. (Boy, was I kicking and screaming inside!!)

We have plans. God does too. We have dreams and desires and God knows those too. 

I found myself wanting things differently than what they were. I couldn't get my head out of the, "Why can't this be me?" So instead of a temper tantrum, I cried. I thought things. I found myself idolizing an idea and an image. This brought despair instead of joy. 

Sunday morning I woke. The song on my lips and running through my head were not what I was feeling, but was truth. My sister in law had sung this for her son who graduated. It spoke to me right where I was, too. 

Of course, it was my turn to be part of the praise team that morning, something that was far from my desires. I wanted to crawl back under the covers and wallow in self-pity. I decided to fight. I jumped in the shower hoping to awaken more than just my eyes and Matt Redman's song, Never Once, came on the radio. 

I cried as I heard the words that spoke to my soul.

Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far weve come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You've done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

I knew I needed to fight through this. I was not alone. God knew my every thought. I settled into the drive to church and it seemed every single song was put there just for me. Every. Single. One. But especially this one.

The message from our Pastor was entitled, "Praying When God Seems Silent - Psalm 13

BAM!!!!

I was reminded of the honesty of King David, the psalmist. He questioned God about His seeming distance. He felt forgotten. He felt cursed. He wondered how long would he feel despair. He wrote this psalm out of desperation. He then, asked God to ponder his problems. He begged Him to answer. He asked for a clear vision from the Lord of the correct perspective. He told the Lord his fears. He reminded Him of what was at stake, namely His glory. (At this point, I was wondering if our Pastor had read my mind all weekend.)

Many of the things stated by the Psalmist were his feelings of the dire circumstances he found himself in, yet he was willing to pen them as part of the journey. I thank God we have this example to help us know how to pray when we are in the pits of despondency.

The key to this passage, though, is how it ended. David did not stay in this thought process. He then expressed his confidence in God. He determined to rely on His mercy. He rejoiced in the future deliverance His faithful God would give. (The last three paragraphs were points on the message.)

And just as I was ministered to by music earlier in the day, David sang to his creator. He belt out thanksgiving and anticipated the blessings of God. 

So, there, you have it. Be honest with the Lord. Cry hard to Him, but come back to acknowledge His supremacy and omnipotence of what is best for you. He is a good God and He deserves our full trust.

I'm back in the land of the living today and feeling thankful. My circumstances haven't changed, but my focus has.

A Story About LIFE!

I love a good book....(as if you couldn't tell..)

Better yet, I love true stories that inspire courage, choosing joy and unconditional love. 

Bella's gift, written by Rick and Karen Santorum, along with their daughter, Elizabeth, tells of this family's journey as Karen gives birth to Bella, their 8th child. But, profoundly, their story starts a few months before this, when they are given the devastating news that something might be wrong with their "surprise" baby. And, in turn, doctors giving their "two-cents" about what is best. 

Their faith is tested, their marriage is tried, 

but they come out the other side with stronger faith and a stronger family. 

In a time, when there is little trust in the realm of politics, it is beautiful to see a politician's family being a real family. A husband putting his marriage and wife first. (That's why he dropped out of the presidential race...I vaguely remember this.) A father putting his family first. Rick and Karen's love for each other is concretely seen in how they work through the birth and life of their precious Bella. Most children born with her condition pass away within the first year. They have loved her through to 7 years. But ultimately, we know God is the giver of life and taker of breath. They know this too.

Each day is a new day to be blessed with their daughter and they do an amazing job of chronicling all the struggles and blessings. 

As a personal comment, their faith is rooted deeply in the Catholic religion. Although I will not discredit their confession of faith in Jesus, I do get concerned when the lines are blurred as thickly as they are in this book. Salvation is by faith alone, through grace alone on the only Jesus Christ.

P.S. As a part of the blogging network through Thomas Nelson, I received a free copy of this book.

Pain Is Productive; Courage Turns to Encouragement

The last 6 years of our lives has seem to go at a snail's pace yet speed faster than a jet plane. Discouragement sets in; courage lifts us out. Our eyes wander from the cross to the darkness of the deepest pit. Yet, still His grace finds us.

Discouragement hit lately. The asking, "What if....." Wondering where the next leg of this journey will lead us.

But I am so thankful to the Lord that He helps us fight. Each time we fear, He reminds us He knows the outcome already and will be with us to face it. Each time we stumble in our own rebellious responses, He gently prods us back to His embrace. Our God is so good.

Recently I was able to write a brief synopsis of our journey in a pro-family magazine, called Above Rubies. As I wrote, I prayed. I prayed for the words to convey truth and honesty, yet humility and love. I prayed for those reading it. I asked the Lord to use it to encourage others going down the same path that we had traveled...and still are.

I have received emails from hurting parents. I have felt their pain. I have prayed for them.

I SEE!!!

I see how God does this thing. How He uses our lives to intersect with those going through similar pain. He shows such grace by using His clay pots. Some of us are cracked from such heat and the feelings of being dropped, although I personally know, I have never been out of the Savior's hand.

Wherever you may find yourself, friend; in whatever trial you are surrounded with, know He is there with you. Look around and see. There are others hurting like you are. Sometimes we are blinded while sitting in the heat, but at some point we must use the pain to encourage the body of Christ.

A Warrior's Faith - A Book Review

God's sovereignty on display.

That would describe the latest book I read. Robert Vera, author of A Warrior's Faith, describes the life events of a Navy SEAL, Ryan Job.  It's a memoir of a friendship that came to be through a series of tragedies in Ryan's young life. 

Many times when you read a biography about someone's life, it is merely that. This book is not. You live beside Ryan Job as he fights in Afghanistan and is severely wounded. You follow him as he perseveres through blindness. And you see him get stronger. But one other thing you see is an endearing friendship that grew each day. Ryan and Robert become that "friend that sticks closer than a brother."

One strong thread that is entwined in this story is the journey of the author himself. I love reading stories of others that cause one to remember. The ways and will of God are seen so clearly. Though not all producing the outcome we as humans would want, nevertheless, we see God's grace, mercy and moving hand. His providence is a key factor as well.

Ryan Job was a man, a fallen man, yet a man willing to be used by God in many other's lives. Robert Vera, is a man, a fallen man, on a journey of redemption, forgiveness, and seeing God for Who He is.

And because, all we as humans, share in suffering, this book will encourage you no matter what station on the road of life you find yourself. Truly, a MUST read!

I received a free copy of this book as part of the booklook blogging network.

Overwhelming Fear and Grief...But God

If you are feeling as I am today. Fearful. Shaky. Angry. Anxious. Distant from God.

Then please listen to this.

God knew I needed it.

Now my bottle of tears is overflowing again. But God actually knows how many I've cried.

Book Review - Frederick

The spirit of determination that allows one to overcome such adversity as Frederick Ndabaramiye did is quite amazing. Faith is always part of that spirit. Faith that God gives to believe in the hope of a future and faith that forgives those who try to take your life from you.

Frederick, an autobiography, is an unbelievable story of resilience and fortitude. Frederick lived through the Rwandan genocide and was severely maimed by his enemies. His story is one that touches the deepest nerve in one's soul. God had a mighty plan for him. God sovereignly placed people and things in his life to direct him exactly where he needed to be at the perfect time. As you read this book, you will find yourself immensely grateful for your own blessings, as well as, asking yourself the question of, "How can I be an instrument of service to those who are hurting around me?".

This story is one of hope for the future. One boy's story of how he overcame incredible odds and become a man who helped others do the same.

**As a part of the blogging network, I received a free copy of this book.

Happy 20th Babe

To the Love of my life,

As we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary together, I cannot help but reflect on what God has done and accomplished in our own lives. We have been through so much together and I am so thankful that God saw fit to bring us together 21 years ago. I knew from the moment you visited me in the hospital during my first surgery (of many) and brought me Barney the Dinosaur holding a dozen roses that you were the one for me. (I still have that purple guy too) So many hours you spent reading Scripture to me. That was the best medicine of all.

After our wedding we were deluged by surgeries, miscarriages,  emotional upheavals, failed adoptions, and many more day to day struggles. Yet through it all Christ was our focus and you helped me to keep my eyes on Him. We now have four beautiful children through adoption. Thank you for opening your heart to this ministry. As we continue to add to our "God's Faithfulness Journal", we have been so blessed babe. God provided us this house, a van (though it be almost 16 years old), unexpected monetary blessings, among many more things.

The day after you asked for my hand in marriage you started a new job that would be yours to this day. You are the hardest worker I know. So many wives complain about their husbands coming home from work and sticking the newspaper or T.V. in front of their faces. You have never been one of those. You come home and engage our family. And you keep working at home, taking care of this place God has graciously given us. You have aged and continued to work hard. You have passed down this hard work ethic to our boys. Thank you.

The last five years have been the biggest trial of our marriage. I read and hear about all those couples dealing with struggling teens that break their marriages apart and I know it is by God's grace that we have grown closer. I know God has used this in our own lives to makes us so dependent on Him. I know I love you more than ever! Thank you for all you have helped this family accomplish in these last few years.

We are entering a new time in our lives. We now have our first senior of three consecutive years. We have some decisions to make financially too. I know God will provide and give us wisdom as we age and our lives change with the seasons. We will continue to seek Him and grow closer together as we do. Remember, even if we are in a shack, TOGETHER, I will be forever grateful to have you by my side.

So on this 20th anniversary of our love, the love of becoming man and wife, I am humbled and rejoicing. I am so in love with you. You are my leader, my lover, and my best friend.

Our Story in Brief

Some of you have followed the last 5 years of our lives, but may have never put together or been told our story. The following is a letter I submitted to a magazine that focuses on family, adoption and life.

Dear Nancy,

Let me start by saying how much I have been encouraged by your Above Rubies magazine. I love your focus on adoptive families and the gift of life. As my husband and I were looking over the new issue last night, he said to me, "You should write an article featuring our story." I have been blogging for the last 5 years about it, but feel like maybe I can be a voice to those who have struggled with the same things. 

We are an adoptive family. We are an multi-cultural family. All four of our adopted children are African American.  My husband and I have been married for 20 years this year. After many surgeries due to endometriosis, we started the adoption process for our oldest. This was our first and only private adoption. Our son, Joshua, was born on December 21, 1996. He was born in another state so we anxiously awaited that phone call. But our hopes were dashed as his birth mother changed her mind. God took us through that roller coaster and after 5 weeks she changed her mind again and he was placed in our arms. 

Twenty two months later, our second son, Nate, came into our lives at 5 months old. He was part of the foster care system and struggled with attachment reactive disorder until 5 years old. God's grace is the only way we were able to get through those years. But through those dark days, God called us to home school. The furthest thing is my mind was "being with that child" all day. But God changed my heart and showed me that's exactly what he needed.

Just over two years later, the department of family services called us and told us about a little special needs girl who needed a home. Esther was 22 months at that time. Since they knew we already had adopted African American children they thought of us. Esther had/has fetal alcohol syndrome and was failure to thrive. After one year of being our daughter, tests were run to rule out Autism, and it was discovered she had ACC (Agensis of the Corpus Collosum). In layman's terms, the central part of the brain in your Corpus Collusum. Hers is missing. This part holds 500,000,000 connectors to both hemispheres of your brain. We have been told she should be in a wheelchair not walking or talking. She "appears" normal to those who don't know her well. She struggles mostly with developmental/schooling delays and some social issues. But she is a miracle. Love is an amazing thing!

Now, having 3 children with a span of 2 years of age among them, I was overwhelmed for quite a while. There were many days of therapies and struggling to seemingly survive the emotional struggles. Little did we know that this would be a small part of the rest of our story.

In 2005, we received a phone call from a local pregnancy center about needing a family for a special needs 10 month old boy who would be placed privately. He had kidney failure as well as crossed eyes and severe developmental delay. He was like a newborn. We prayed about it and felt God's leading. Within two weeks, we had our home study done and were traveling 2 hours away to pick him up. The adoption laws in the state we live allow for the birth mother to change her mind within 3 days, if the child is over 6 months old. On the third day, we received a call from our attorney stating the unthinkable. She had changed her mind. This was a very tough place. My husband rose to the occasion and the next morning met our attorney and the birth mother at the train depot. They exchanged signatures for our precious Elisha that we had grown to love like our own. I am so grateful for my husband who used that opportunity to proclaim Jesus to Elisha's birth mom. Two weeks later we received a phone call from a deputy stating, "....there is an investigation into a little boy's death." Yes, Elisha had passed away in her care. I struggled with anger and resentment to the Lord. But eventually, He helped me to see that my sweet baby is with him and better off than the life he would have had. He also worked on my heart dealing with the idols that had formed in my own life.

The good news is that having Elisha in our home opened our hearts up to adoption again. In September 2005 a little girl was born and two years later she would become ours. Hannah was placed in our home after two years of foster care.  She was a crack baby with lots of hurting places. But thankful we have been granted to raise her.

Adoption is a beautiful thing, but it is also messy. Our boys hit the teen years with rejection and identity issues surfacing. Anger became out of control. We chose for our oldest to attend a Christian boarding school for a few years to protect him from himself. These were so very difficult years. The ache that happened in ourselves but most of all him was so painful. 

Hannah struggles with severe ADHD and outbursts of anger. Parenting adopted children brings a whole new set of issues. There is so much hurting and open wounds that seem to take years to work through...really until adulthood.

We have come to know the daily struggles that come along side raising adopted children. It can be a lonely place, where others don't understand. We have faced judgment on our parenting as well as struggled with fear of man...."what do people think?", which we still fight daily. So many times, adoption is viewed through rose colored glasses. It is so messy at times, but adoption is the brightest light we can shine that exemplifies the Gospel, for isn't that the picture Christ gives about our relationship with Him? Our parenting of these special kids has been greatly affected by grace. For how often do we spurn God's grace and parenting of us? How often do we choose defiance and rebellion? Yet, He keeps pursuing us. He keeps showering us with His love. He never lets go or gives us back up.

Trusting as the Days Go By....

Our pastor is taking us through the book of Hebrews on Sunday mornings. It has been so encouraging and convicting. Today we focused on chapter 11:17-22.

As he taught on faith and trust and worship in and to our Resurrected Savior, I was contemplating my early morning devotions. I was thinking about the fact that I have been doubting (AGAIN) and relying on my own feelings for obedience and surrender. I have opened my mouth wide and loud way too often before I speak and hurt those around me; mostly because I have been focused on self...not my Lord.

"By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, 

My faith will be tested by God too.

and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, 'Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.' 

My faith should drive me to total obedience.

He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which figuratively speaking, he did receive him back."

My faith should bring a willingness to surrender.

By faith, Isaac invoked future blessings on Jacob and Esau. By faith, Jacob when dying, blessed each of the sons of Joseph, bowing in worship over the head of his staff. By faith, Joseph, at the end of his life, made mention of the exodus of the Israelites and gave direction concerning his bones."

My faith should show confidence in things not seen.

This is faith that only God can gift with and bring to fruition in a believer's life. I don't know about you, but oh, how my faith waivers. I want to know this faith more and more. I want to overcome my doubt. So my mornings must start with love and devotion to my Savior by making Him priority. Opening the Word and getting on my knees is the best way to start.

P.S. These points were part of Pastor Shealy's outline.