Today is another special day. My biggest's Happy Gotcha Day. It seems like we just celebrated it. Time is going too fast. And he is away from home. This makes the heart sad. Every year, we celebrate these special days with each of the children. We write them a letter each year to remind them of God's special plan for their lives. This year "Hoss" is not here to celebrate. I'm not sure he would want to. So I pray and write to my Father in heaven instead.
You started a work in "Hoss'" life 15 years ago today. You placed him in my arms. Sitting at the Tampa International Airport my arms became full; my heart became fuller. His sweet little face shone up at me. I knew You were in the midst of this.
This. This has become so hard. So difficult. Yet, I believe You are still in this. Though my boy is so much bigger now, he still can fit in this heart of mine. You answered a prayer when I asked for a child. You gave me three more.
God, I know that I have asked you so many times to do the seemingly impossible. I believe You are answering. In Your time. In Your way. I know you love this boy more than I do. I know you promise to work all things out for our good; for I love you and am called according to Your purpose.
Purpose? I have asked, "What is the purpose of this?" You patiently bring be back to Your Word and remind me of Your purposes.
So I thank You. On my knees. Full of tears. Open heart.
Knock. Knock. Knock.