"It's not fair!"
"You always let...." (The door slams. I hear the click of the lock)
"You are so mean." (She races to the far edge of the backyard.)
No, I am not talking about my teens. I am talking about my littlest. I'm not sure what has transpired in the last year (other than the normal chaos of this path we've been on), but she has seemed to come unglued, or at least she's a couple of years ahead of the normal craziness. (Maybe because she lives with 3 other teens, she has jumped quickly ahead. Oh, dear. Lord, I pray this is not the case.)
As I sit here waiting for her to come out of her room, settled down, wonder how many times I have slammed the door in my Jesus' face. Hmmm.
I wonder how long He's waited for me to unlock the door and come out.
I wonder how He's been so patient when I tell Him that I know what is best for me.
I want to scream and yell at "Inger", "Get out here now and how dare you lock me out or run away from me." I want to grab deep in her chest and change that little heart. I want to open up her mind and find out what is going on inside.
I must choose to sit quietly and wait. I've learned that when I do force my authority when emotions are high, it escalates into a shouting match. So I look to my Heavenly Father and ask how I can do this thing called "mothering."
(Nothing like dealing with this on the eve of that awesome "secular" holiday, Mother's day, when all children everywhere are supposed to bow down and kiss their mother's feet and tell them how much they appreciate ALL they have done.)
My Heavenly Father reminds me how He does that thing called, "loving". UNCONDITIONALLY!
*Just a caveat: as I finish this post, she is currently writing out Scriptures on anger...and hoping she gets done in time to run some errands with me. I do believe in discipline, but it looks so much different then it did with my oldest...when I thought I knew everything about parenting.