This Mother's Day I find so very difficult. The two most difficult trials I have yet faced can affect this day, if I let them get the best of me.
I was asked by leadership at church to speak and give a brief testimony of being a daughter and a mother.
The Lord brought this to my heart:
"Most of you know that my mom passed away 2 weeks ago, on April 21st. This mother’s day holds much sadness for me, but also much joy. My mother was a woman who loved God and others with all her heart. She had a passion to share Christ with others even up to the very night Christ took her home. Eight hours before her death, she was sharing Christ with a co-worker who called. Though she really struggled to breathe in the end and had a lot of medication in her, she was still determined to let anyone know who called or came by that they, too, would die one day and could be assured that they could also go to heaven if they had a relationship with her Savior. I was raised by this precious woman (and my dad, too) who took me to a nursing home every week when I was young. I remember combing the ladies’ hair and putting nail polish on their fingers as mom shared the best news she could, salvation through Jesus. Mom held 5 Day Clubs each summer when I was younger and ministered to all the moms whose children attended. My mom had fears, many that stemmed from childhood and not being raised in a Godly home. She would have admitted she was a pessimist at heart, but during the last few weeks of her life, she conquered all. She never showed any fear during the time of her life where she had every “right” to be fearful. She praised Jesus with her heart and even her lips during the 2 ½ weeks I was there taking care of her. She thanked Jesus every day, all day for bringing her into the very last valley she would face. She never complained. Christ was glorified.
Mother’s Day is about celebrating my mother and also, celebrating the mother I have become, only because of Jesus. And, yet, again, this brings me back to my mom. I wanted nothing more than to be the mom she was. At first, I thought this was never to be. God closed my womb, but, in turn, opened my heart. And this again was in large part due to the example of my precious mom. She and my dad took in the orphans for many years as I was growing up…mostly teenagers. They became foster parents only 2 years after they became believers. The Lord showed me pure and undefiled religion through her actions.
And now, I find myself mom to 4 precious children who were birthed in my heart. This act of love was acted out for me and I am forever grateful. Being a mom brings such joy, but also such pangs of grief. There are joys of hearing, “I love you, Mommy.” There are days of nothing but dirty clothes, dirty dishes, dirty floors and even dirty feet. But so much blessedness comes from being there to whisper prayers of healing and hurt, to utter forgiveness and teach the truths of God’s Word. It is a grueling task that brings emotional, physical, mental and even spiritual exhaustion. But this gift of motherhood is a gift I am eternally blessed to own.
In closing, I would like to thank you for praying for our family in the last month, as well as the last year. Such trial has come our way, but joy has definitely come too. We have grieved with the loss of our son from our home and the physical loss of my mom from our lives. Both of these losses have refined me and are what our Lord is using to make me a better mom…one that resembles my Savior more. God remains so faithful. "Hoss" is doing so well. He is learning to place his trust in Christ. He was able to talk to mom and write to her, even encouraging her with some Scriptures. She went to be with Jesus with the knowledge that Christ has begun a miracle in his life that she was on her knees daily petitioning the Father for.
Tears flow daily for all these things. Joy erupts as well. Praise be to our Heavenly Father."