Friday, May 7, 2010

Journals Sent From Above

The day before I took off for Tennessee to take care of mom, I was hunting for something special.

A journal.

Just a little place to bear my soul and heart through the weeks of anguish and joy I knew would be coming my way.

I desired to find one for my beautiful sister, who lives near mom, and who I knew would be spending every waking moment with her too.

I was looking for just the "right" one.

I entered the store, which is just a home decor store with all kinds of odds and ends. You can find all those unique treasures that you would never find elsewhere.

My eyes scanned the shelves. There were all colors: red, blue, green, etc. The styles ranged from spiral bound to leather. I looked and looked.

My eyes finally landed on two different ones but from the same manufacturer. I pulled them both off the shelf...the only two left. One was black; the other turquoise.

One had an "S"; the other a "J". The initials from both of our names.

Just a small gift from God to start a very long valley in my life.

As I was caring for mom, I took time each day to record my thoughts, prayers, Scripture and whatever else was on my mind. Many tears splashed those pages. One page screams pain; the next joy and comfort.

There are notes that were taken the day mom expressed her desires for her memorial. Just a few pages later are my notes to speak at her memorial. I so badly wished that there were more pages between the two, but this is only a selfish wish.

God used this little gift to strengthen my faith; He cares even about the small journals.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My loving and sweet sis,
I love my journal. I know you know that. I continue to write in it just about daily. I've always been a journaling girl and I'm so thankful the Lord sent you to just the right store, to just the right shelf to find these. I too wish there were more pages in it before I wrote Mom's homegoing but yes, a selfish wish but still a wish. Most of the days when I write, I am crying and pouring out my heart to the Lord to continue to mend and heal our broken hearts from this pain. Will it ever go away? I fear not but I do not fear the future for I know we will all be together again one day. Love you so much. Jen