Today, my mouth and emotions got the best of me.
But, I mean, all I asked was a simple command. And he didn't want to do it in my time when I asked...I'm the mom. I mean, just obey....it's that simple.
And like many other times, words spewed out of my mouth that were, indeed, truth. Just not spoken in love. Therefore, words that really didn't need to be said at all. (And might I add, they were pretty loud words...thankfully the windows weren't open today.)
I excused myself from the school table and went to my room, feeling pretty lousy. I knelt down and cried until I couldn't open my eyes. I screwed up again. Again. AGAIN. I want to have the right responses. I get so tired of failing when it really matters. I want to love the unlovable, but boy, it is so hard at times.
I texted him and told him how wrong I was and how sorry I was. That no matter what happened, I didn't have the right to speak that way to him. (Thank God for texting, especially when you are dealing with someone who struggles to let go and forgive quickly.) Then I proceeded to get on the computer and look at some of the blogs I follow. Guess what?
Yup, you guessed it. Lynn Cowell's blog was titled, Words of Wisdom, and yes, it nailed it! I was encouraged and uplifted and sent back to the Word.
I will start again tomorrow, trying to think about my reactions and then responding.