When our oldest son was just one years old, we started the adoption process again.
The attorney had matched us with a girl who was due at the end of May. She lived across the bay from where we lived. One Friday, we met her for lunch to introduce ourselves and find out a little bit about her. She was a young girl; the typical pregnant teen. Her boyfriend was in and out of jail, abusive and controlling.
The next day we received a phone call that she had gone into early labor and we were to meet her at the hospital. This was the beginning of May. This was a position I had never found myself in before. God had taken the ability to have children away from me, by His design and sovereignty. This I questioned for many years, but chose to trust. Here I found myself in a place called labor and delivery. We were given bands to wear giving us privilege to the little one when he was born. Lots of emotions were happening inside me.
A few hours later we were told the doctors were attempting to stop the labor, as the precious one inside her needed as long as possible to develop. Saddened, we went home that night. Lots of questions in our minds. When would are arms be filled with this bundle?
The next morning we went up to see her. She was well, but there were quite a bit of family members in her room. Some from the boy who didn't deserve to see this gift! We left a little taken back by this momma's response to us that day. She seemed distant, removed. We again, headed home with prayers falling out of our hearts and out of our mouths.
The following day as we were headed up the elevator to see her, my wise man said, "You know, she is probably going to change her mind." There. The dreaded words were said. The words we both knew were possible. He then reminded me, "If she is going to try to raise this precious boy, we must minister to her soul. Her soul needs Jesus more than we need this baby." Truth. My love spoke truth that day.
We did share Christ with her and then left the room never to hear from her or see her again.
The emotions were strong, but I never shed one tear. My focus was where it needed to be.
Little did we know that the next October we were united with our next son, "Little Joe". He was five months old...and His birthday? May 1st.
As we were sharing Christ with a poor troubled soul, who was to become a Mommy soon, the gift of our heavenly Father was being born. We just didn't know it yet.
I trust You, Lord.