Life has taken a few steps back...well, maybe more than a few. "Hoss" is struggling. So am I, for that fact. I don't know what the future holds. I pretend more often than I'd like to admit that I am trusting and remembering God's faithfulness, but I am floundering. Very badly. Many of you know our story and have followed it for almost 4 years now.
Wow! Four years!
But I feel so burdened by the unknown. So I am begging for your prayers. Please pray that I would really trust. That I would not doubt. That I would believe. Please pray that Satan would take his grip off of our son. That God would open his eyes. That Christ would take preeminence in our whole family.
In the last couple of weeks, we have felt spiritually attacked. Satan so desires to sift us. He desires to bring a small tear in our family that can turn into a canyon. But we know God is bigger and stronger. He has used the past to refine us.
But can I just be honest? I'm tired! O.K. I know the truth. I know my strength must come from Him. I am so prone to fear, anxiety and worry. I want to trust. Please pray that I would. Please pray that I would live in joy for my Savior as well as the rest of the Ponderosa.
So I sit back and read this post and ask myself, "Haven't I been here before?" And I answer myself, "Yes, I have."
Thank you in advance for your prayers and lifting our family up to the God who knows all, sees all, and uses all for His glory.
Because Of Jesus,
Thank you, Jesus, for your patience with me, Your daughter who struggles to trust in You. Remind me of your love and perfect timing, justice and truth.