I really AM "Much-Afraid". Was Hannah Hurnard writing about my life when she wrote, "Hinds' Feet in High Places"?
She had to be...but how did she know?
As I continue on this journey with my twin, I continually come back to surrendering my will on the altar. My Good Shepherd, He continually asks this of me. Each chapter that is read is absorbed into my very soul. I long to be free. I long to Accept with Joy whatever path the Lord has for me. But I find myself looking to the High Places wondering if my Leader has forgotten me. And then, just like "Much-Afraid", I call out to Him in my distress and He is right there with His arms around me.
"Much-Afraid" has learned she much trust completely. Not only this, but learn to accept with joy what the Shepherd has for her. This translates to me: Head knowledge is not enough. Saying, "I believe God is sovereign and in control" is not enough. This will not sustain me. I must KNOW my Savior intimately and with joy submit to His plan.
Now, what? Patience. Patience. Patience.
I don't know when my Shepherd will take me out of this precipice. I don't know when He will give me my heart's desire. Wait!
My heart's desire is peace. And I simply forget that it can be obtained even under duress. My Good Shepherd wants me to surrender my times and plans to His.
This is where I find myself. On a very interesting journey. A mental fight. A spiritual battle.