The Last Year...in Brief

Many of you have asked me how "Hoss"  is doing...

I'm not sure how much to say or not say so I will be vague and somewhat brief, but so many of you have prayed that I want to thank you for lifting this man-boy up before the Lord.

Last year so much happened to turn our world upside-down. Decisions were made by him, under compulsion, that could have had dire consequences and God showed much mercy. Along the way, he moved back home after being away for almost 4 years. God continues to shower his mercy, although "Hoss" may not see now, I most certainly do. We are a family again. For this I am grateful. We have laughed and cried along the way. We have sought forgiveness and given it. We know we are heading into a new season of parenting.
                                                            
He is now almost 17 1/2 years old. Getting ready to make decisions that we may have no control over. So as I brought him to the Lord again this morning, I surrendered him again. I know that until God is given control of his life by him, he still will make decisions that, I, as his parent wouldn't make. But there is much I am thankful for.

*After a broken relationship, I home school him. This is something I never would have dreamed I would be doing.

*He is now, also, working full-time with "Mr. Cartwright". After not having him in our home for so long, he and his dad have ample time to talk and he can learn life from his awesome father.

*He is respectful of our wishes in the home. Although, we have learned what to make an issue and what not to. Boy, is this one of the most difficult things amidst others who would maybe do things differently. I have learned to fear God over man...most of the time. We are the ones responsible to answer to God. No one else is.

*He is a hard working young man.

*I love him with all my heart.

The last 5 years have been so full of trials. Down the valley we go, not much seeing the mountain tops, but as I write this I look back on this post, and this post, and this post. And I see the faithfulness of my God.

Filled With Gratitude

'Tis the season.

And as Thanksgiving creeps closer, my heart swells with all my Lord has done for me. 

* The person of Jesus; his life, death and resurrection makes my life what it is today.

* My amazing husband; he is the world to me. He makes this journey of life so much more 

bearable.

* My four beautiful children; God's amazing love in placing them all from different places and people into this home called the Ponderosa.

* God's mercy and grace; I could not bear to breath or live each day without this.

* Forgiveness from God and others; this reminds me of how much I must choose this path towards others too.

* Financial provision; each turn of path of life brings areas of need. God always shows up and provides exactly what we need. (If you haven't read about this, please do and be amazed!)

* Agape Boarding School; an amazing place that has kept my boy-man safe; that has provided exactly what he needs for such a time is this; that are God's hands and feet of love and mercy when we can't be there.

* Memories; this time of year brings many memories of my childhood and makes me miss Mom lots. (Just eating dinner tonight was one of those moments. She always served meatloaf with mashed potatoes and butternut or acorn squash. I was just telling my kiddos about this.)

* God's Word; it is a lamp unto my path and a light unto my feet.

My heart is filled with thankfulness. May this continue forever, not just this month.

Why Do I Doubt? I Could Just Kick Myself!

Do you remember this post last week? God has reminded me today how little faith I have. By grace, He nudges me and says, "See? I always see."

Financially things have been tight. Isn't that the area that so often seems to cause the most stress? With "Hoss" being at Agape Boarding School, money has been very tight. But (and that's a BIG but) God has always provided. 

A couple of weeks ago someone who has been helping for the duration thus far told us they would not be able to help out after October. We didn't tell anyone. We took it to the Lord. I asked God to provide. 

Would you be surprised for me to tell you He has? Today a dear friend called and told me that the Lord has been nudging her to help us out with "Hoss'" tuition. And, yes. The e.x.a.c.t. amount we needed. 

My God, who owns a cattle on a thousand hills, sees our measly little needs and responds. Exactly, yes, exactly.

He sees what we need, when and how we need it. He fills my heart with joy and I pray, constant thanksgiving.

What are your needs, dear friend? Take them to the Lord.

Needless to say, I will be adding "November 1st, 2012: Provision for "Hoss'" continuing tuition" to this.

Father's Day

We had a great Father's Day celebrating the wonderful shepherd that this family has. "Hoss" was missed. But we continue to gain perspective on this trial and ask God to do the miracle only He can. We have not had communication for 6 weeks. We are hoping for a letter from "Hoss" this week. Then we can start rebuilding some form of this relationship. His heart hurts, but until he goes to the perfect Heart Surgeon, there is no real recovery. 

God's Provisions

For the last 17 1/2 years, "Mr. Cartwright" and I have experienced amazing provisions from the Lord. So many times I could kick myself as I acknowledge my lack of trust.


Since "Hoss" left and went to Agape Boarding School, finances have been even more unsteady. My faith has failed so often. But I praise my Savior that His provisions do not depend on my faith. It surely is unmerited favor and unbelievable grace.


Since the time the "Cartwrights" started their lives together, we have kept a journal of some sort for our family to remind us these truths. This list started with the gifts of salvation given to us. The first three years of our marriage were blessed by the following:

1978- "Mrs. Cartwright’s" conversion

1989- 2 mystery men (providential messengers)

1990-"Mr. Cartwright's" conversion

1991- Lord delivers "Mr. Cartwright" from death

1993- Delivered from serious injury in red Nissan accident

1993,94,96- Faithfulness and lovingkindness in  "Mrs. Cartwright’s" surgeries (back, endometriosis)

1993- The "Cartwright's" meet

1994- Wedding of the "Cartwright's"

1994- Comfort through  "Mrs. Cartwright’s" miscarriage

1995- Stung by wasp and delivered from death

1996- Delivered from death in auto accident

1996- Received down payment for first house from fellow believer (3,000)

1996- Received anonymous 500.00 to help out with Christmas

1997- Provision for "Hoss'" adoption (10,000)

1997- "Hoss'" adoption

1997- Faithfulness in  "Mrs. Cartwright’s" hysterectomy

1998- Failed adoption gave opportunity for gospel presentation

1998- "Hoss" delivered from death after taking pills

1998- Grant of 3,900 for exact amount of "Little Joe's" adoption

1998- "Little Joe's"adoption

1999- Purchase of Dodge Caravan

2000- "Marie’s" adoption

This is just a sample. God's Faithfulness and Mighty Acts of Provision is an ongoing list. When my faith fails, I pull this out and get down on my knees in repentance and submission. My Master confounds me. I am thankful.


This week we were able to add to this list. We were notified by the Athletic director for our homeschool group, FISH, that an anonymous donor paid for "Little Joe's" basketball season. Praise Him!


Amidst an emotional week concerning my mommy's heart and loving my son from afar, God provided through "Grandpa Cartwright" for David to take a trip to see "Hoss" in April as well as extra spending money. Dad and son will be able to have two and one-half days to themselves to talk and enjoy their time. We are, again, awed, and brought to our knees in thankfulness.


Most of all, I want my children to see my faith at work. I want them to "see" what the Lord has done for us. 
He is Mighty. 


Mighty to Save.

Amazing....

So how many Bibles do you own?

How many are sitting on your shelves?

Rethink the importance...

Thankfulness

1. My hardworking hubby. Grateful he has a job.

2. Cooler temps today. Yeah! The cold front made it...finally.

3. Nancy Leigh DeMoss and the truths she speaks into my life via Revive our Hearts.

4. Good friends...especially those who care about your spiritual growth.

5. Romans. Nothing more said is needed.

6. My beautiful children...and the one who is not here right now. He is missed. Thankful for telephones too.

7. A special, encouraging email from my Dad.

8. Freedom

9. The gift of forgiveness to and from.

10. Wisdom from above that comes from my Heavenly Father.

11. My extended family. We love each other and fight FOR each other.

The Little Blessings

It is just amazing to me how God supplies our every need. But even more amazing how He gives us special little gifts that we don't even ask for. My Father is so loving and merciful.

Two weeks ago our neighbor had about 25 window treatments in his trash. For those of you who know "Mr.Cartwright" well, he is the king of "treasures"...if you know what I mean. Sometimes these "treasures" are not usable...but this time, the Lord blessed us with new window treatments for our windows. The story goes like this: Our neighbor helped his son in law replace a client's window treatments. My gifts are the ones she wanted taken down and thrown away. They are like brand new. And on top of that, expensive ones that I would never be able to afford.

Get this: We have four windows that fit one blind. We have two large windows. They each fit 3 blinds, bracket to bracket without space to give. They were meant for the Ponderosa. God blessed me with these. Moral of the story: Trust your man when he goes garbage picking...no really. The real moral of the story: God is gracious, and I believe He gives special gifts to us in such a way to remind us the little things matter.

So, a few days later, I am with the girls driving and happened to pass by a...um..um....someone's trash by the road....I guess my hubby is a good teacher. I have always wanted to get a leather horse swing for the kiddos, but there is no way I would pay $80.00. Wa-La! Someone was "getting rid" of theirs. Now we have a new swing. It was a great opportunity to remind the girls of God's love. We stopped and thanked Jesus right then for showering us with blessings.

Today, I Am Thankful For

...my special family. God has given me such unique gifts that challenge and grow me daily.

...this resource. It has transformed our view on trials.

...my man. November 26th will be 16 years. Soul-mates, lovers, best friends, iron sharpening iron. This is what we are.

...salvation. God saved me from me. He crushed His son for me.

...beautiful Florida weather. Highs around 78; Lows around 50.

...the Word of God. For this is what transforms a life.

...homemade spaghetti sauce. The aroma is filling the Ponderosa.

...Saturday nights. Coffee with Mr. Cartwright. Reconnecting from a busy week.

...freedom to home school my treasures.

...:Agape Boys Ranch. They have loved my biggest lamb through the last 15 months of his life. Sometimes tough love.

Abounding Thankfulness

Today...

I am thankful for

~ lovingkindness showered on me by my Savior

~ the arm of my knight in shining armor holding me tight

~ truth and kindness spoken from a friend...this is not always easy to hear but necessary

~ This link to test my heart and motives as a woman who desires to be wise

~ my Father, both earthly and heavenly

~ the gift of children...most of us don't realize the dimension of this gift. So many times it starts out as a "self-focused" gift, and ends up changing us more into the image of our dear Lord

~ computers printers that can scan and copy

~ Luke 9:24-25

~ forgiveness; full and free

The Cure

Grumpy. Complaining. Discontent. Aggravation. Nonsatisfaction. Emptiness. Lack of Joy.

We have all felt these emotions as one time or another.

Are we justified as children of God to give in to these?

The cure for the wounded spirit is thankfulness.

You say, "Thanksgiving in the midst of MY trial is impossible!"

I say, "No, It is not!"

The death of my beloved mom has gripped my soul in a way I have never felt before. BUT, I can say, "It is well with my soul, because I have my Savior."

"Hoss" is far from me right now, BUT I can tell my God, "I trust you, for you know what is best for me and my precious son."

Joy. Contentment. Peace. Providential Provision. Thankfulness. Satisfaction. Calmness. Composure. Harmony.

I trust you, Lord.

He is Mighty to Save...

and, praise Him, that He has saved Mom.

Her testimony continues, even as she suffers.

The words she speaks even in a whisper convict.

"Thank you, Jesus."

"Praise you, Lord."

"Help me to be thankful, Lord."

"Help me to praise you, Father."

"Hallelujah."



Thank you for continued prayers.

Hosanna to the Son of David

How many times am I like those who shouted these words?

Some of these were the same people who also cried, "Crucify Him, crucify Him."

James 3:8-10 say, "The tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse man who is made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way."

How many times does my family see me in a light that is different from all those around me? Do I act different towards them than I do at church or with friends?

I embrace Christ as my Savior and yet, how often am I ashamed to share my hope in Him with other?

Unfortunately, I find myself getting caught up in the emotion of the moment, probably, a lot like those who laid down the palm branches. What I feel should not dictate my actions. As I grow change more into the image of my Lord, what I feel should change too.

As I bring forth my "palm branches" of Thanksgiving today, may my heart not desert my Savior.

#120~ The gardener's pruning...this is so painful, but so necessary.

#121~ Forgiveness...I can't fathom the forgetting that my Master accomplishes.

#122~ Little arms wrapped around me and kisses given as my little one goes with her papa skating. Just a few months ago separation anxiety existed. "Trust your Daddy, little one."

#123~ Beginning a new year for me on this earth. May this next year bring many joys...the sorrows are so difficult.

#124~ Watching my littlest man, dance when he doesn't think anyone is around. If I look close enough, I can see that dear baby still in those big, brown eyes.

#125~ My morning tea...coconut chai or peach ginger...both satisfy

#126~ The Passion week of Christ...going to the cross, doing His Father's will.

#127~ Dad and Mom...I know I have listed them in the past, but each day that goes by, that they are still part of my life, I am thankful.

#128~ God's direction and wisdom he has given my dad to care for mom during her health crisis. Every new information we find directs us to what he has been doing already.

#129~ Chrissie, my dear friend, who sharpens my iron more than she knows

#130~ "Mr. Cartwright's" job; so many are losing theirs, so thankful he remains employed

#131~ "Hoss" is becoming a new creation. Each phone call shows a softening of his once hard heart. Please keep praying for him while he is at Agape.

Attitude of Gratitude

Before you place your feet on the floor, give thanks to your magnificent Creator for all His blessings.

# 66 The Word that is a Light to my path and Lamp to my feet

#67 War of Words by Paul David Tripp
This has become part of our family worship time at night. All conflict begins with our words.

#68 Making a love gift for the place where my oldest treasure resides

#69 Truth; this is a lost concept in this tolerant society we live in

#70 Friends that help sharpen my iron

#71 Answering lots of questions during the day from all of my little people; anything from math to the most beloved question of "Why?" I don't always have the answers, but am so glad I'm the one being asked

#72 The burning of candles; what a cozy and warm place an abode can become

#73 Busy hands that work diligently to finish a love gift

#74 Celebrating birthdays; each year is one more blessing of God's goodness

Standing on the Promises

God's promises are what keep us going....In the midst of whatever trial you find yourself in, trust Him. Praising Him and praying back His promises prove to be what transforms a hurting soul.

~ My beautiful marriage band that every day reminds me of my vows

~ Friendship with my mother, who is fighting cancer right now naturally...and boy, is she a fighter.

~ Rain, rain and more rain

~ The laughter of Little Joe...it is so infectious

~ Great conversations with our Tennessee visitors, who I call Dad and Mom

~Measuring my monsters....wow, how they grow each month...and wishing I could have the pencil marks on the laundry room wall for my biggest monster

~ Electricity...thinking of those needy ones in Haiti

~ God's Word that brings healing, especially the Psalms

~ This recipe...it is delicious!

~ James 1:2-4

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

Another day of Thanksgiving

Gifted Musicians who help to bring our worship to Christ

The Cross where my burden has been laid

Trials that bring my hinds feet in high places

The prophets of old: Habakkuk, Daniel, Jonah, Amos, etc.

Warm slippers on cold mornings

The gentle caresses of my love's rough hands

Running, clean water from our well

Forgiveness

The beautiful buds on my Christmas Cactus that waited to bloom until I was home from our Christmas vacation

My precious circle of girlfriends known otherwise as "Mangoes"

Romans 8

The sound of a bouncing basketball as my hubby and son play "Jesus" (instead of horse) with an unsaved friend in the neighborhood....always a good opportunity to give the Gospel.

Our beloved friends from church that help out with "Marie's" hair...this is always a challenge for her "white" mama. :)

Grace, more and more grace, grace exceeding my sin and guilt

Forever Mine

My heart is so full of love for this man. My heart is so full of thankfulness to God
for allowing him to be my soul-mate. God has brought trials our way, big trials, this year...this draws us closer. Praise God for his grace.

I am cherished and loved beyond anything I deserve.

My Great God

I got to thinking today, in the midst of many tears, how great a God I serve. My world as I know it has changed and there are times I want to lay down my head and not ever, ever lift it back up. But, I know I must persevere. So I choose to thank God today that:


~He supplies all of my needs, both great and small.
~He is sovereign and in control and ALL and I need not fear tomorrow.
~no matter what I feel, I can look to the truth of God's Word and use it to conform my thoughts to that truth.
~He knows what is best for me because if I acted on what I thought was best for me, my spiritual life would be completely stagnant.
~He has given me a Godly, spiritual servant-leader who guides this family in the truth.
~He sees my wayward son right where he is, even though I don't.
~He has blessed me with everything spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus.
~He has given me everlasting life that starts right now.
~He continually sanctifies me, though I continue to sin.
~He promises to never leave me and that keeps me from feeling forsaken, even when everything around me screams it.
~He is my Good Shepherd who at times must break me to mend me.

More Thankfulness~ #6-10

"Mr. Cartwright" - the Cross of Jesus
"Mrs. Cartwright" - Agape Boarding School
"Little Joe" - his sisters and brother
"Marie" - my mom teaching me
"Inger" - the color red