A Journey Through Depression and Life

Most of us have heard of the name Sheila Walsh. I grew up listening to her music. Some 20 years later she tells her story. Her life memoir of pain, hurt, grief and triumph. She was Loved Back to Life; thus, the name of her most recent book.

Sheila Walsh grew up in a troubled home but was given the gift of singing. So for many years she masked her pain with a smile and performing and in turn being loved for her music. But in the process losing herself and plunging to the depths of despair. Loved Back To Life is her journey from the most painful parts of life to finding true peace through Jesus Christ. Though she claimed to "know Jesus" she truly found Him once she surrendered her facade. And came to grips with His love, not man's. 

When dealing with the subject of depression, there are many controversies in Christian circles, but her balance of medication, counseling from God's Word, and facing the spiritual facts of sin, redemption, and grace was refreshing.

Whether you find yourself facing depression or just wanting to understand  others who do, this is a great book to pick up and read. 

God's Encouragement

God is amazing. He sends things like this my way to encourage me. Days when I feel so depressed I can't focus.  He knows exactly what I need, when I need it.


When I feel far, He draws near.


When I have feel like I have no desires for Him, He plants those around me to lift my head.


When I don't know what I think or feel, He reminds me of His Word and convicts me in the areas that I have allowed lies to creep in. 


For this I am thankful.

Hymn Study #1 - William Cowper

Here at school on the Ponderosa, we are embarking on a weekly hymn study. This has been something I have yearned to do and just never made time for it in my schedule. This week was our first hymn.

"There is a Fountain Filled with Blood" was written by William Cowper. The hymn is one of great depth and yet, an all so familiar one, in which we can sing without even thinking about it.

William Cowper struggled with depression and mental anguish from the time of his mother's death at age 6 until the end of his life. He did not come into a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ until he was 33 years old. After his conversion, he lived with a Pastor and his wife. The pastor eventually died, and the widow was invited by Pastor John Newton to move to Olney, England to be part of the fellowship there. Cowper moved as well.

God in his providence introduced Newton to Cowper and Pastor Newton became very instrumental in the day to day goings-on of Cowper and his mental state. He struggled so often with assurance of salvation and depression still. And yet, amazingly, wrote some deep hymns of the faith, that have become landmarks for the Evangelical body of Christ.

He wrestling with doubt. He pushed through the thoughts. He conquered in Jesus' name.

So many times when we as believers go through the valleys that can cause of pain, we feel so alone. We forget those saints that walked before. We sing the hymns and then wonder if we will ever attain to the "sainthood" of the hymn writers. But they are just like us. Wandering sheep seeking the Good Shepherd. He hears our voice and rescues.

A Man Named Jesse

Friday night, my family was headed to our weekly Good News Club in an Apartment Complex in our area. Each Friday night, our children our spiritually fed as we reach out to the parents of some children that attend.

"Mr. Cartwright" was in a spiritual fog and depression. We both seesaw this experience ever since our treasure lost his way.

Through many tears, we make it to the van to drive to our destination. We arrive and try to "put on a smile" and act like all is well. All was not well just a few minutes ago, but when you are in that kind of frame of mind, you must make yourself do the things that you don't want to do.

Waiting for the club to start, and the parents to arrive, I look outside and realize one of the dads has come and is in conversation with my husband. A few more seconds go by and I notice another man out there talking to them. I don't recognize him. I trust my husband and if I know him well enough now, he is probably sharing the Gospel.

The night flew by and eventually "Mr. Cartwright" met one on one with the dad. But something had changed in his demeanor.

After the time of ministry came to an end, my love said, "I don't know who that was, but he was sent from God."

So, he relayed to me what had happened.

As the dad and my husband were talking, this man named, Jesse, walked over. He introduced himself and starting talking about the Lord. He then proceeded to encourage the men to "choose" joy; that it is not a feeling, but an act of choice. He also encouraged them as dads to show much grace to their children. He likened the father's role to THE Father's role. Our children don't need rules as much as they need grace and mercy.

He then proceeded to say, "I don't really know why I came over here to talk to you, who I don't even know. I normally don't do this kind of thing."

My love knows exactly why he did it. He believes God interceded the path he was going down of depression and self-pity and proceeded to show much mercy by bringing a man named Jesse into his life that night.

Jesse said he lives in Apt. so and so #, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was no one by that name who lives there.