Sacred Marriage - Book Review

Marriages are being fought for on the battle lines of our culture war. And sometimes marriage can seem a battle itself.

Gary Thomas, in his book, Sacred Marriage, asks many thought provoking ideas; the most important being that the ultimate purpose of marriage is "to equip you to love your God more and to help you reflect the character of His Son more precisely." This thought will eternally change your view on all aspects of marriage; from conflict resolution and divorce to how to love better and better every day.

Mr. Thomas quickly gets to the heart of every person's motives and objectives as he takes the reader back to the Gospel and how our marriages are about displaying the glory of God. He delves into the difficulties all marriages have in fighting self, because that really is one of the key to holiness and happiness.

Every single marriage can benefit from this book, no matter how bad or good you may see your own as. Gary Thomas gets right down to nitty-gritty.

Marriage is for the glory of God. It will make you cry, laugh, and definitely ponder what you can do to do this thing called marriage better. With the help of Christ.

A Story About LIFE!

I love a good book....(as if you couldn't tell..)

Better yet, I love true stories that inspire courage, choosing joy and unconditional love. 

Bella's gift, written by Rick and Karen Santorum, along with their daughter, Elizabeth, tells of this family's journey as Karen gives birth to Bella, their 8th child. But, profoundly, their story starts a few months before this, when they are given the devastating news that something might be wrong with their "surprise" baby. And, in turn, doctors giving their "two-cents" about what is best. 

Their faith is tested, their marriage is tried, 

but they come out the other side with stronger faith and a stronger family. 

In a time, when there is little trust in the realm of politics, it is beautiful to see a politician's family being a real family. A husband putting his marriage and wife first. (That's why he dropped out of the presidential race...I vaguely remember this.) A father putting his family first. Rick and Karen's love for each other is concretely seen in how they work through the birth and life of their precious Bella. Most children born with her condition pass away within the first year. They have loved her through to 7 years. But ultimately, we know God is the giver of life and taker of breath. They know this too.

Each day is a new day to be blessed with their daughter and they do an amazing job of chronicling all the struggles and blessings. 

As a personal comment, their faith is rooted deeply in the Catholic religion. Although I will not discredit their confession of faith in Jesus, I do get concerned when the lines are blurred as thickly as they are in this book. Salvation is by faith alone, through grace alone on the only Jesus Christ.

P.S. As a part of the blogging network through Thomas Nelson, I received a free copy of this book.

An Anniversary and 2 Birthdays All Rolled Into One

A couple of weeks ago, Mr. Cartwright and I sneaked away for a long, much overdue, one on one time. We spent 8 days away. All to ourselves. It was fantabulous! Our destination was Savannah, Georgia. Did I say we were all alone? Life issues, heavy burdens and distractions were put behind us for a time and we were able to focus on each other. It was so wonderful. Something we had never done in 20 years of marriage. Did I say we were all alone?

Savannah is a beautiful city; one of many historical sites. We love history and it definitely was the place for us. The downtown historic district is the largest in the United States. It is a 2 mile by 2 mile square of beauty and wonder. Most of the buildings and structures are the originals from the 1700's and 1800's. There were many sites from battles fought in the Revolutionary and Civil Wars.

This is the oldest African Baptist Church in the United States. The first all slave church.

The following pictures are all historical landmarks, though some are museums, some are residences and some are businesses.

The hubby and I took one day to endulge his love of golf. He played 18 holes while I drove him to each hole, crocheted a bit and took in the beautiful scenery.

On Saturday, February 14th, we drove 45 minutes to Hilton Head, South Carolina. It was a beautiful drive and we enjoyed more historical sites.

We couldn't resist seeing the Atlantic Ocean.

We sat on a bench behind the following picture and had to take a snapshot to show our little dog lover.

This silly poodle just watched everybody go by. It was so funny.

We then visited Mitchellville, the first town exclusively for freed slaves.

Where this marsh lays was the place of a very important battle in the Civil War.
The people of Mitchellville helped fight against the confederates with the Union Army.

This is the site of Fort Mitchell.

We then had a beautiful Valentine's Day Dinner at Nick's Steak and Seafood. It was precious. We were the youngest couple there. It was beautiful to see the older love birds doting on each other.

We are so thankful we were able to get away from life. It hit us straight on when we got back to the Ponderosa. We are thanking Jesus for the much needed renewal.

The Unveiled Wife - a book review

When I chose this book to be my next read I had not idea how it would profoundly speak to me. As I write my thoughts today, I intend to be straight-forward, yet tactful.

 Jennifer Smith writes The Unveiled Wife with true courage. She tells her journey through tears and fears, but what I appreciate most of all, is her courage to call sin what it is. There is truth to pain and hurt, but how we respond to those things will dictate whether we truly are living for God's glory or just living through the pain. Mrs. Smith's initial love story of how she met her husband and their love for the Lord was beautiful, but it became ugly pretty quickly. In one or two words, I would say idolatry and expectations were what I sensed right away. Probably because I have struggled with those things myself.

She delves right in to their wedding, honeymoon and thereafter, expressing candidly the struggles they had in their intimacy. Physical and real struggles that seem to have no answer. As she describes these times, I think most women can relate...maybe not to the physical pain but to the wedges, no matter how different they are, that are put up between a man and his wife. Jennifer helps the reader to see that these walls are sin and how coming to the cross and understanding the importance of intimacy with the Savior are linked hand in hand.

Every women should pick up this book and read it. Personally I have read the practical books on the journey for a man and a woman after marriage, but to hear this beautiful story and how God used all of it, even the ugliness for growth and change. To be more like Christ.

That's my review on the book, but I would like to add a bit more personally.

To put it bluntly, men and women are very different in their sex drives.  I feel that women need a firm talking to about loving their husbands in this important way. Saying yes, as much as possible. Now, I understand there are times when it is not possible, or even times when the husband is abusive or there are sin issues that need to be confessed and dealt with. But, I am amazed at how infrequently many Christian women love their husbands in this way. With all of the temptations around our guys in this culture, let's lavish them with our love and bodies. And above all else remember this:

1 Corinthians 7:5 "Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

It's Only a Diamond!

The unthinkable has happened!

As "Mr. Cartwright" and I were out for dinner last night (to watch the first half of the Oregon/FSU game) I looked down and to my horror, discovered my diamond was missing in my engagement ring! I wanted to cry! If it weren't for my boys sitting there with us, I would have. Tears welled up instantly but I was able to restrain them from overflowing.

I could do nothing but think about it last night. My heart was so sad. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary and I kept trying to tell myself ,"it's only a ring". I kept reminding myself that it is a symbol of a love that doesn't fall apart like way the ring has. 

So my head hit the pillow and my thoughts wouldn't stop. 

But God had different plans. I had a dream about being back in Honduras and ministering side by side with our missionary friends. I saw the faces of poor, beautiful people. I sat beside orphans and the unwanted. I awoke from the dream at 3:30 a.m..

I couldn't fall back asleep. I rose with a strong desire to pray and commune in the Word. I read Luke 12. I was struck by the words of our Great Shepherd. 

Luke 12:

29 And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried.30 For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them.31 Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.32 "Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.33 Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys.34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

I prayed for the souls of my children. I prayed for my quick responses of anxiety. I thanked the Lord for his amazing provisions.

6:00 came too soon and I turned my thoughts toward the day. As I was basking in God's goodness under the torrent of water, I proceeded to rub my ring to clean it, which is something I do very frequently in the shower, and I realized I didn't have it on.

I, then, found it quite ironic, that I hadn't had one thought about my diamond. Perspective. That's key.

I still desire to fill that empty space on my ring one day, but I realize there are things in life much more meaningful and eternal. This new year my focus will be on seeking first His kingdom!

A Messy Love Story

There is a war being waged against marriages these days. The war of fidelity is the most difficult as our culture screams tolerance to all forms of sexual sin!

My latest book review takes on this subject. Before I read The Song, I had heard about the movie. It sounded riveting! The Song, written by Chris Fabry, is a beautiful love story following two young people who have been dealt lives of hardship before they met. They meet in a magical way, but once Jed King's music career takes off, they are left with a fractured relationship. 

Chris Fabry does a great job showing the reader what can happen when you don't put Christ first in a marriage. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the new life you have made and the busyness of that life. Children come. Boredom can set in. Life can become monotonous. And there the trap is set.

Mr. Fabry reminds us that marriage is a covenant. He also shows how with the Lord, strong love, and forgiveness one can make it through any storm that comes their way.

Happy 20th Babe

To the Love of my life,

As we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary together, I cannot help but reflect on what God has done and accomplished in our own lives. We have been through so much together and I am so thankful that God saw fit to bring us together 21 years ago. I knew from the moment you visited me in the hospital during my first surgery (of many) and brought me Barney the Dinosaur holding a dozen roses that you were the one for me. (I still have that purple guy too) So many hours you spent reading Scripture to me. That was the best medicine of all.

After our wedding we were deluged by surgeries, miscarriages,  emotional upheavals, failed adoptions, and many more day to day struggles. Yet through it all Christ was our focus and you helped me to keep my eyes on Him. We now have four beautiful children through adoption. Thank you for opening your heart to this ministry. As we continue to add to our "God's Faithfulness Journal", we have been so blessed babe. God provided us this house, a van (though it be almost 16 years old), unexpected monetary blessings, among many more things.

The day after you asked for my hand in marriage you started a new job that would be yours to this day. You are the hardest worker I know. So many wives complain about their husbands coming home from work and sticking the newspaper or T.V. in front of their faces. You have never been one of those. You come home and engage our family. And you keep working at home, taking care of this place God has graciously given us. You have aged and continued to work hard. You have passed down this hard work ethic to our boys. Thank you.

The last five years have been the biggest trial of our marriage. I read and hear about all those couples dealing with struggling teens that break their marriages apart and I know it is by God's grace that we have grown closer. I know God has used this in our own lives to makes us so dependent on Him. I know I love you more than ever! Thank you for all you have helped this family accomplish in these last few years.

We are entering a new time in our lives. We now have our first senior of three consecutive years. We have some decisions to make financially too. I know God will provide and give us wisdom as we age and our lives change with the seasons. We will continue to seek Him and grow closer together as we do. Remember, even if we are in a shack, TOGETHER, I will be forever grateful to have you by my side.

So on this 20th anniversary of our love, the love of becoming man and wife, I am humbled and rejoicing. I am so in love with you. You are my leader, my lover, and my best friend.

I Married My Best Friend

On the night of October 23, 1993, a gentlemen, by the name of "Mr. Cartwright", called me up and asked me out on a date. That was the beginning of the most important friendship of my life. We hit a movie and had dinner, and then talked into the wee hours of the morning.

My health was not that great. I had gone through several years of chronic pain, and two weeks after we met I had my first surgery to diagnose my condition. He was a constant through those times. He read Scripture to me and prayed with me to encourage me. Our love was truly founded on our love for Christ.

Christ was the center of both of our lives, and on May 14, 1994, he asked me to be his wife.

Our wedding was simple, yet, beautiful! The Gospel was proclaimed to all who came, which was the most important thing in this day for both of us.

So today, I repledge my vow to my best friend. The one I wish to share the rest of my life with. The one who is my constant. The one who points me to THE ONE!

"I, "Mrs. Cartwright", by the grace and enablement of our triune God,

do pledge to you, "Mr. Cartwright",

my sustained efforts in assisting you to protect and to nurture our sacred, one-flesh union.

With joyful anticipation, I look forward to the building of our new life together on Christ's foundation.

I promise to love you and to submit to your divinely ordained leadership in our home.

I consecrate to you my fidelity and tender care as long as we both shall live.

My priority on earth shall always be this precious home established by God.

No matter what He, according to His sovereign plan, may bring into our life as one in Him,

I dedicate myself to being a Godly wife at all times for your good and God's glory.

May our gracious God be pleased to fulfill, through this fragile but dependent disciple of His,

my covenant commitments to you and my heart's desire to our new life as one.

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen!"

(This was my original vow said on this date, 19 years ago.)

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

Courageous

Inspiring, convicting and culture-defying. These words describe the book I have just finished reading.

Courageous, written by Randy Alcorn, has far surpassed my expectations. This story follows four police officers and one friend as they attempt to balance job, family and God. As our culture has screamed out to men that it is o.k. to be passive and selfish, Courageous screams out, "Men, you must fight what you feel and step up to be the shepherds of your household."

This book is one that makes you feel that you are a part of the story. It weaves in culturally relevant teen issues. Randy has done a good job of showing that nothing apart from Christ will bring satisfaction, including a job that has its thrills. Jesus Christ is shown as the Supreme healer and also, Lord. The only and One Lord.

For those who have seen Fireproof, The Movie, you will be glad to know that Caleb and Katherine Holt are a part of this feature as well. After reading this book, I will be definitely finding time to view the movie.

Another great novel by Randy Alcorn.

I received a free book as part of the Tyndale Blogging Network.

My Hero

He is the man I wake up with every morning...but I have the option to go back to sleep for a wee bit longer. He doesn't. The sounds of alarm arouse him before the sun rises.

Ready to work.

Work for his family. Work so I can stay home with my precious children. Work so I can home school.

Today is our 16th Anniversary.

The days slip away. Uninvited events occur. Time gets lost.

But, he remains constant. So many things have happened in the last sixteen years.

Babies are lost. Adoptions are interrupted. Death is awakened. Feelings are hurt. Emotions are raw.

But, he remains constant.

He does this, you see, because he knows the One who upholds him. He is looking to the Wise Leader so he can lead us. He is being herded by the Chief Shepherd, so he can take be the tender guide to his little flock.

"Mr. Cartwright", I love you. You are truly a gift I do not deserve. I am thankful for each day we have together...the hard times and the good. Please know my love is steady and sure.

First Memories

(To those of you who know we really aren't back from Missouri yet, I scheduled this to be posted before we left. I couldn't let this day go by.)

Today 17 years ago, God graciously brought my love into my life.

We had been friends for a couple of months. I was facing an important and uncertain surgery that could have had a possibly serious diagnosis. This servant-leader of mine invested in so much of my life at that time, helping me to keep focused on the Lord and trust Him for the outcome. After my surgery, he visited me every day in the hospital as well as at home.

Then the turning point came. As I was recovering at home one evening, "Mr. Cartwright" came over. I thought this was to be a very normal visit; Bible reading, prayer and just chatting. As we finished up reading, he presented me with one single red rose. (Along with the rose, he handed me a cute plush rendition of Barney the Purple Dinosaur....I don't tell too many people that, so please keep it to yourself :)

I knew then, that this precious young man would be my husband one day. (Back then I wouldn't have used the word young....there is 8 1/2 years between us...but as we both age, I definitely would say we were much more full of youth!)

I am so thankful for this precious gift. He makes me feel cherished and special. He gives of himself so freely to his family. He is such a hard worker both at his place of employment and our abode.

I love you so much, "Mr. Cartwright".