I don't want to appear ungrateful or to be complaining. I have used this blog in the past to journal about the many paths this life has taken me and the others here on the Ponderosa down. And sometimes it's messy and sometimes it's ugly. But I have confidence in the end that it will all be beautiful.
Yet the day to day can wear me down faster than when all my bigs were little.
Those of my friends who have children with struggles. Children who suffer from some sort of trauma. Do you ever just want to ditch it all in and run away? Run away where no one can find you? I am tired of hearing, " I hate you." Every single moment is filled with a fight. Every. Single. One. I am drop dead tired.
I find myself here today.
I have cried. I have prayed.
So today I turned to my Wall of Remembrance and read about the times I have journaled about the van God provided for us. Or the Happy Gotcha Day of each of my children. Or the money orders that came from anonymous people just when we needed it. Or someone that God put in our path to help steer our wayward lambs. I remember the day of my sweet daughter's baptism. I remember my 2 year old's cry for his mommy. I remember my oldest lamb's prayers when he was a tot. I remember all the believer's God has put in our lives and in our fledgling children's lives.
I remember God's faithfulness even when I am faithless. I struggle to believe. But like the Psalmist, I will remember.
There is an important generation of Americans dying off. But there is still one man alive who just celebrated his 103rd birthday. Jim Downing. (And he also happens to be part of the original team of the Navigators ministry.)
And he also just released his autobiography. And it's a doozy!
Mr. Downing shares his life story with us in such a way that it transports you back to the time in which he started his military naval career. He doesn't mince words yet, as a believer sees his story through the eyes of a child of the Almighty Sovereign Lord. Reading this book allowed me to increase my gratefulness for all those who put their lives on the line for the freedoms we enjoy. All along the way, he gives glory to the Lord for the work he put his hand to do. His joy in Christ exudes as he serves the United States of America and uses so many opportunities to further the Gospel.
We should all strive for this.
It gives hope that this is possible, not matter what our life's position.
This would make a great Christmas gift to anyone who loves an inspiring story of true heroism and faith.
As a part of the Tyndale Blogging Network, I received a free copy of this book.
In light of the impending presidential election, I thought it would be insightful to read Alberto R. Gonzalez' new autobiography, True Faith and Allegiance.
Wow! What a well-written, concise story of his life - being raised in a poor Spanish family and making it to Attorney General under President George W. Bush.
Not only was this book a heart-warming story of succeeding in life, but it was so informative on how the government works in Washington D.C., or rather, how it used to work. Mr. Gonzalez does a great job on giving many details to each story, many of which include very intimate details about his friendship with the President of the United States. These are real men. Men who backed up their beliefs with actions, not caring if anyone was behind them or not. Their consciences spoke very loudly. Albert Gonzalez' time in service in the White House was from 2000-2007. He endured the junk of politics and explained what really happened before his resignation.
Most importantly, he relates how his faith endured through it all. His faith in God and trusting in the Lord were integral parts of this story. And that is always the most encouraging part of reading books like these.
Three words that come to mind when describing Gonzalez and Bush: trustworthy, genuine, and strong.
As a part of the Booklook blogger's network, I received a free copy of this book.
It's amazing what God can do when there is a willing and passionate heart! It defies all age, gender, and economic status.
Riley Banks-Snyder, journals her passion through her new book, Riley Unlikely. Her journey started at age 13 and was sparked by other family members pursuing missions. She chronicles life from this point forward and her words on paper on like healing balm to one's faith. Seeing God supply again and again reminds the reader that He is able to complete what He calls one to do.
Riley was just an average girl with an above average expectation. And God has used her in mighty ways. She trusts God to work what He has given her the vision for and He does. She has impacted so many children for the kingdom of God by equipping them with the simple task of learning to read and write.
What an inspirational story of what God can do through one little girl, who is now a married woman. It also speaks to the fact that her parents trusted in God for their daughter's life as well and gave her the ability to be used by God when they could have said, "Wait until you are older."
Note: As part of the Booklook Blogging Network, I received a free copy of this book.
Many of us (in my age group) remember Sheila Walsh as a contemporary music artist who came on the scene in the '80s. Her story is much more.
This is my second book review of a book written by Sheila Walsh. The Longing in Me is the story of
how her first marriage came to be and how and why it ended. But bigger than that is the story of how Jesus got ahold of her life after so many others tried to destroy it. Sheila was raised in a very dysfunctional home, where many things occurred that many of us could never imagine. As Sheila aged, she reached out for security in many different forms and ended up in an abusive relationship. Through all of this God was drawing her heart and giving her the longing for something bigger.
As she writes this journey down in ink, she brings us through a study of the life of King David. In a beautiful way, she likens so many of the areas in our lives we struggle with to the life of this "Man After God's Own Heart".
God takes us through so many trial in life to teach us to trust in His sovereignty as we see His amazing love poured out on us. We are all pieces of the big story. Everything in our lives that happens both good and bad, is to push our gaze on the One who holds all things together, even when it seems they are falling apart.
Sheila Walsh does a great job in encouraging us in this journey.
As a part of the BookLook Bloggers Network, I received a free copy of this book.
The courage it took for Virginia Prodan to faithfully stand for Christ can only come from the One she served unabashedly.
Saving My Assassin, the memoir of Mrs. Prodan, is truly an incredible story of salvation, courage, fortitude and perseverance, all for the glory of Christ.
Romania is a country that has been plagued by Communism for years, and this is the country Virginia grew up in. Through God's providence and so much hard work, she was able to become an attorney for this Communist state. She became a believer soon afterward and became a defense attorney for believers who had been arrested for their Christian beliefs and how their lives were lived because of it. She ended up being arrested herself. She went through agony, torture and almost death. But God had His mighty hand on her and wasn't done with the work she had for her to do.
A couple of things struck me hard:
1. Each time Mrs. Prodan was in the valley of the shadow of death and facing extreme fear, the Word of God rolled off her lips and in her heart. His Word is what sustained her. This reminds me of how important Scripture memory is. At some point we may not have the unlimited access to our most prized possession and we must have it hidden away where no one can take it from.
2. There were so many times that the Communist Security and prosecution would say that the country's constitution meant nothing. That they could override it. This concept in hitting home way closer than I would have ever thought possible.
I believe books like this will be a source of encouragement in the days to come in America in more ways than the author may have ever thought possible. Her story will invigorate us to stand for truth. For the one who is TRUTH!
As a part of the Tyndale blogging Network, I received a free copy of this book.
Sometimes you plant a seed and the next day there is a green sprout emerging from the earth. Sometimes it takes 5 years. This is what happened with my pineapple plant. Five years ago, we cut the tops off of 2 pineapples that we bought and stuck them in the ground, having been told they grow into a plant. Sure enough they grew huge but failed to give any fruit. Each year we waited and waited. No fruit.
That is until this year. Someone gave me a hint of how to speed up the process or help out our little plants that seemed to have lacked enough of something to make their fruit. (If you are that person, thank you and so, sorry I forgot who. :) She told me to stick an apple core right in the middle of the plant....sure enough. Two beautiful pineapple started growing. As I stand and water these babies each morning, a thought struck me.
Isn't this so much like our spiritual lives?
So often, we get in our ruts and it seems that we are at a standstill. We are being watered. We are getting plenty of sun. We are huge plants with long, green leaves. We look healthy from all accounts. But we lack fruit. We need an infusion. We lack passion. We need to examine ourselves. We need God's Word to infiltrate our inner souls. He offers everything we need to produce this fruit. We must if we are His children.
It also reminds me of parenting. The long road of parenting. Wouldn't it be nice if we spoke to our children and poof!! Obedience appears! First time obedience at that. The hard heads are gone. The hearts are soft. But often it takes years for us to see if the fruit is there and when it appears it isn't quite the size of my beautiful pineapple. It is a little dried up grape. I am reminded that this process takes perseverance and patience. It takes the power of prayer. It takes unconditional love. It takes Christ's ability in us to not give up. Believing that He is the Father of the Fruit! For He is the One producing in us the fruit.
After I harvest these beautiful spiked fruit, I will prune some of the dead dry fronds around the base of the plant. This will help it stay healthy and hopefully, help it to produce in a more efficient way. Again, this is a process that may seem painful to the plant but will spur on growth. My Gardener does this in my life in so many ways. Trials that don't seem to be disappearing in a manner that I would like. Rejection of those I love with all my heart. Anxiety that wakes me in the middle of the night. When these arise, I turn to my Gardener and very often desire to say, "OK. Enough already." But I am reminded that these hard times are the very ones that produce the fruit He desires to see in me. He must strip away all the dead leaves. He must prune. He must cut as close to the base as possible. But I trust He knows best.
For He created me and knows my every thought and He deems what is best.
I trust. I trust. I trust. (I don't always. So I say this in faith that will hopefully become a reality.)
This world we live in is so tumultuous! We, in America, have lived in a sort of bubble for so long, but the international headlines are hitting close to home more and more often.
The latest book I have picked up to review is a hard read. Not hard in the fact that it is difficult in literary issues, just a difficult topic to swallow. But Mindy Belz does an outstanding job in raising the awareness of the topic at hand, persecuted Christians in the Middle East at the hands of ISIS. In her book, They Say We are Infidels, she takes us to pre-9/11 in Iraq. She educates us on the culture and customs and politics of the Middle East. Along the way you become introduced to several Christians who have had to flee for their lives because of persecution.
At the time of 9/11 and thereafter, the majority in America became well familiar with the name of Sadam Hussein. We were glad to see the liberation of the Iraqi people. We rejoiced to see the American flag flown in place of their former dictator! But we had no idea what was going on behind the scenes. There were people waiting for this to happen so they could come to power. And now, those of us living in 2016, are seeing the results of this. They Say We are Infidels is an excellent history of how ISIS rose to power, but more importantly, how Christians in the Middle East have the power of Someone greater than ISIS in their lives. You will be in awe and shed tears as you read this powerful book.
Read it and pass it on to others!
Note: I received a free copy of this book as part of the Tyndale Blogging Network.
Kate Grosmaire and her family went through an incredible ordeal and has written a book about this journey.Forgiving My Daughter's Killer is a wonderfully written memoir about this journey. The Grosmaire family lost a daughter and sister at the hands of someone they had grown to love. Kate writes in a way easy to read and easy to feel the pain that they went through. The amazing thing is the love and forgiveness that they extended along the way. I can't even imagine the heart wrenching pain and constant battle of feelings that they fought through and, yet, they always came back to forgiveness. This story is a little different from a random murder in the fact that the killer was her boyfriend whom they had come to see as part of their family. This makes this an even harder task to take on; forgiving someone you trusted to keep another loved one safe.
This story is beautiful picture of God's love and forgiveness for mankind and how mankind can exhibit an small part of this.
On a personal note: God is part of this story and yet, as a believer, I had to take into consideration the world-view or spiritual direction of this family. Their Catholic beliefs differ greatly from my own in understanding the Bible. Salvation is by faith alone through grace; without works or anything added to it. Christ is the One who gives the ability to forgive because we realize how much we have been forgiven our own sins. Our faith does not "get us through", rather, the Lord and our trust in Him is our anchor in storms such as these. I do not believe we confess to a priest for forgiveness; it is through Christ alone. The courage and focus of the forgiveness in this story was for the human sake not for the glory of God. I believe the reason we forgive first in obedience to Christ, and then, there are wonderful results and out workings of our choices. I acknowledge that this family has gone through so much and to share this story was extremely difficult, I am sure. But I was saddened to see just where their faith lies. That was a huge part of this story.
Note: I was given a free copy of this book as part of the booklookbloggers network.
This week marks a special time in the life of a special ministry. Joni and Friends is a unique ministry started by Joni Earickson Tada after her life was radically changed by a swimming accident 40+ years ago. She is quadriplegic who testifies daily of God's grace in her life via her radio spot.
The girls and I have been listening to it via podcast weekly and it has become a great thing to catch up on while we are on the road too. Joni is one of my spiritual heroes. She has truly been used in so many ways to speak the truth of God's Word and His will.
This week on her program she has started a series called, Hearts for the Handicapped. Each day, for a week, she highlights a special family, and gives the listener an opportunity to write to encourage that family. The disabilities may include anything from autism to paralysis.
So as part of our school week we have incorporated a time to pray and write to these families.
Words come so easy. But when the rubber hits the road, so often what we have said is certainly hard to live out.
Job's friend, Eliphaz, reminds him of this truth.
Job 4:3-6
3 “In the past you have encouraged many people; you have strengthened those who were weak. 4 Your words have supported those who were falling; you encouraged those with shaky knees. 5 But now when trouble strikes, you lose heart. You are terrified when it touches you. 6 Doesn’t your reverence for God give you confidence? Doesn’t your life of integrity give you hope?
Job's friends didn't do such a great job in the area of encouragement amidst his tremendous suffering, yet as I read these verses today, I thought of how these truths in our lives flesh out.
"Everything will be ok."
"Trust God. He knows what He's doing."
"God is sovereign over all. Doesn't that bring you peace?"
"Fight for joy."
These are all things I have said in the past to others in the midst of trials. Yet, I know when I have been in the midst of my own suffering that sometimes I just want people to sit with me and be still and quiet.
And I have doubted all these truths. I have strayed from trusting. I have asked, "WHY?". I have been terrified. I have lost heart.
But two things I know for sure. My confidence must be in my Savior; even when my feelings are frail. My hope lies in Him and Him alone.
And these truths won't ever change! Even when I doubt. Even when I fear. Even when I feel far from my Savior.
My Name is Mahtob, written by Mahtob Mahmoody, follows the story of a little girl's life before, during, and after the kidnapping of her and her mother across the borders of many countries. They were taken from America to Iran in the early 80's by Mahtob's father. He was an Iranian who lived in America from the age of 18 until his departure with his victims. He became a radical Muslim after moving to Detroit, Michigan. But enough about him. Because this story is really about the resolve and determination of a girl who becomes a young woman. A beautiful young woman.
As Mahtob describes her journeys it is remarkable to just imagine what she went through, and yet, the bulk of the story that impressed me was how she conquered her fears and anxieties. Forgiveness was key to this! After returning to the United States, she was diagnosed with Lupus, that almost killed her. Yet again, she is spared. As she aged, she realized her faith and belief in God was vital to continuing on....you see, her father didn't give up. He continued to try to contact her and even did things to increase those fears; living day to day with weird "coincidences" happening that only increased her dread.
Through many important people that God placed in her life, she was able to finally forgive him and change her entire view of life. Thankfulness and seeing her daily blessings was key to overcoming this mental anguish.
The story invites the reader on a journey that will not be easily forgotten! It may even cause one to examine one's own way of handling life's circumstances. Most importantly, it will confirm to the reader that no matter how hard life seems, our faith in God and attitudes makes the hope attainable.
As a part of the booklook blogging network, I received a free copy of this book.
Thanks to my pastor that is teaching through the Psalms I am trying to do the impossible. In C.H.Spurgeon's words, "I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages."
I am striving to learn this and as a fellow believer in Christ, I bet you can relate. Whether it is financial strain, unsaved loved ones, a struggling marriage, health concerns, or a rebellious child; the "stuff" that our Savior allows in our life is designed to throw us against Him. Now the hard part comes in whether we fight against the wave or whether we embrace it as for our good.
He is the Rock of Ages that will not allow us to drown, even though the waves seem to be taking us under. We must trust Him and believe that with all our hearts!
So pucker up friend! Though the water of tears is salty, our Rock will be our Refuge!
Mark Bouman, author of The Tank Man's Son, endured more than most as a child of a dysfunctional father. He grew up in terror and fear, never knowing if and when the fury of his father would be unleashed! The heartache and physical pain he endured was difficult to read about, but so worth it in light of the end of the story. Tears flowed as I read about the redemption of Mark's soul, but even more tears flowed when I read how God used all the evil done against him to prepare him for the work the Lord had for him to do. Having access to great biographies like this, remind me (again) that the story is not over until death. God is still writing!
This true to life story is one of courage, faith, redemption and an amazing, accurate vision of the sovereignty of God. It is a modern day story of Joseph.
Truly, what man meant for evil, God meant for good.
An amazing story of love and forgiveness!
A must read!
Note: As part of the Tyndale Bloggers Network, I received a free copy of this book.
Sometimes life just happens. That's what the world believes, but not this lady. (Although, sometimes I feel it and have to speak truth to myself.) I found myself telling my littlest (again) about God's best plan for us (His sovereignty) when some plans got cancelled and the disappointment kicked in. (Along with her legs and voice!!) As I spoke to her yesterday about her response, I was totally convicted about the way I handled my weekend and my own disappointments. (Boy, was I kicking and screaming inside!!) We have plans. God does too. We have dreams and desires and God knows those too. I found myself wanting things differently than what they were. I couldn't get my head out of the, "Why can't this be me?" So instead of a temper tantrum, I cried. I thought things. I found myself idolizing an idea and an image. This brought despair instead of joy. Sunday morning I woke. The song on my lips and running through my head were not what I was feeling, but was truth. My sister in law had sung this for her son who graduated. It spoke to me right where I was, too.
Of course, it was my turn to be part of the praise team that morning, something that was far from my desires. I wanted to crawl back under the covers and wallow in self-pity. I decided to fight. I jumped in the shower hoping to awaken more than just my eyes and Matt Redman's song, Never Once, came on the radio. I cried as I heard the words that spoke to my soul.
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far weve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You've done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
I knew I needed to fight through this. I was not alone. God knew my every thought. I settled into the drive to church and it seemed every single song was put there just for me. Every. Single. One. But especially this one.
The message from our Pastor was entitled, "Praying When God Seems Silent - Psalm 13
BAM!!!!
I was reminded of the honesty of King David, the psalmist. He questioned God about His seeming distance. He felt forgotten. He felt cursed. He wondered how long would he feel despair. He wrote this psalm out of desperation. He then, asked God to ponder his problems. He begged Him to answer. He asked for a clear vision from the Lord of the correct perspective. He told the Lord his fears. He reminded Him of what was at stake, namely His glory. (At this point, I was wondering if our Pastor had read my mind all weekend.)
Many of the things stated by the Psalmist were his feelings of the dire circumstances he found himself in, yet he was willing to pen them as part of the journey. I thank God we have this example to help us know how to pray when we are in the pits of despondency.
The key to this passage, though, is how it ended. David did not stay in this thought process. He then expressed his confidence in God. He determined to rely on His mercy. He rejoiced in the future deliverance His faithful God would give. (The last three paragraphs were points on the message.)
And just as I was ministered to by music earlier in the day, David sang to his creator. He belt out thanksgiving and anticipated the blessings of God.
So, there, you have it. Be honest with the Lord. Cry hard to Him, but come back to acknowledge His supremacy and omnipotence of what is best for you. He is a good God and He deserves our full trust.
I'm back in the land of the living today and feeling thankful. My circumstances haven't changed, but my focus has.
This last week was a tough one for my littlest. My nature lover. The friend of all animals. It was sanctifying for me too.
It started out as a regular ole' school week. Math lessons streeeeetttcccched out for longer than necessary. Sassy talk. Discipline. Hugs. Laughter.
Until Mr. Cartwright called home. He found a possum. A baby possum. He had thought of our little one who loves to nurture on lost and needy animals. I asked him, "Please not this time....I don't think I can do a possum." Well, little Inger overheard the conversation and asked permission to call her daddy about this issue. He was long gone from the sight he had found it, but PROMISED that the next time he found one, he would bring it home. Now mind you, HE HAD NEVER FOUND A POSSUM. EVER.
The very next day he came across another little guy. And he kept his promise. So Prince came into our lives. I NEVER would have EVER said I would have a possum in my home, yet I knew this would be an important experience in my little one's life. We read and learned tons about possums. Did you know they do not suck like other baby animals? They are marsupials who are in the momma's pouch for 90 days. We think our little guy was about 5 months old. He still needed milk although he lapped from a water bowl. So we gave him a bottle that he chewed on and we'd squeeze a few extra drops into his mouth.
I caved after the first night of him sleeping in a box in the garage. Inger begged for him to be in the zippered cat carrier on her bed at night. This worked well. She was such a good momma! She carried him in her apron or robe pocket. She played with him as he seemed to be getting stronger and stronger. She would walk around with him on her shoulder and he'd just sit there looking around.
In the evening of the sixth night we'd had him, he stopped eating and grew weaker and weaker! We tucked him in for the night, but I knew he wasn't going to make it. Little Prince died that night.
The next morning, my hubby and I were up early talking and getting ready to read Scripture, when a little person came out of her room wondering what happened. She snuggled up on me as I told her Prince had died. She started sobbing! Crying harder than ever!
I took her onto my bed and let her cry, talking to her about how God loves his creation. How He cares for the birds of the air and gives all those flowers she loves so much their beautiful clothes. I reminded her that Jesus knew little Prince was sick and allowed her to be part of his life. I, then, turned to the subject at hand. This subject being a little harder to discuss with her as she struggles through her own life, blinded to her sin as of yet. Not thinking she needs a Savior up to this point. But, this mommy's heart, knowing this was another opportunity to help her see the effects of sin on the world. Sin that separates us from a holy God. Sin that demands judgment. The Gospel became central again. I prayed that it hit close to home for my little lamb.
I turned to my own thoughts. I realized it just happened to be the anniversary of my dear mother's home going 5 years prior. I allowed myself to shed tears that were bottled up for the day. I tend to "keep busy" so that I don't have to face my own sadness at times, but my Heavenly Father knew I needed to grieve as well. This was a grace gift to start my day.
I laid there as we cried together. Both hurting. One of us knowing grace; the other needing it.
Better yet, I love true stories that inspire courage, choosing joy and unconditional love.
Bella's gift, written by Rick and Karen Santorum, along with their daughter, Elizabeth, tells of this family's journey as Karen gives birth to Bella, their 8th child. But, profoundly, their story starts a few months before this, when they are given the devastating news that something might be wrong with their "surprise" baby. And, in turn, doctors giving their "two-cents" about what is best.
Their faith is tested, their marriage is tried,
but they come out the other side with stronger faith and a stronger family.
In a time, when there is little trust in the realm of politics, it is beautiful to see a politician's family being a real family. A husband putting his marriage and wife first. (That's why he dropped out of the presidential race...I vaguely remember this.) A father putting his family first. Rick and Karen's love for each other is concretely seen in how they work through the birth and life of their precious Bella. Most children born with her condition pass away within the first year. They have loved her through to 7 years. But ultimately, we know God is the giver of life and taker of breath. They know this too.
Each day is a new day to be blessed with their daughter and they do an amazing job of chronicling all the struggles and blessings.
As a personal comment, their faith is rooted deeply in the Catholic religion. Although I will not discredit their confession of faith in Jesus, I do get concerned when the lines are blurred as thickly as they are in this book. Salvation is by faith alone, through grace alone on the only Jesus Christ.
P.S. As a part of the blogging network through Thomas Nelson, I received a free copy of this book.
Courage. Faith. Determination. How does one twenty-something young woman defy the odds and move to a foreign country to be a rescuer?
Megan Boudreaux is this woman. She has written down this journey in an autobiography titled, Miracle on Voodoo Mountain. Megan grew up like thousands of American children. Good home. Education. Religion. But God got a hold of her heart and set her apart for a specific purpose. To rescue the children slaves in Haiti.
Her story is one that inspires the reader to desire to be used. Instead of reading her memoir and saying,"That would never happen to me," one can easily see being used in some way in other's lives.
What holds Megan together in the midst of corruption, loss, pain, disease, loneliness, and unanswered dreams is her faith in Jesus Christ. God miraculously answers her prayers and shows Himself faithful continually. She faces the most horrible forms of evil and the powers of the enemy. She gives God the glory through it all.
The spirit of determination that allows one to overcome such adversity as Frederick Ndabaramiye did is quite amazing. Faith is always part of that spirit. Faith that God gives to believe in the hope of a future and faith that forgives those who try to take your life from you.
Frederick, an autobiography, is an unbelievable story of resilience and fortitude. Frederick lived through the Rwandan genocide and was severely maimed by his enemies. His story is one that touches the deepest nerve in one's soul. God had a mighty plan for him. God sovereignly placed people and things in his life to direct him exactly where he needed to be at the perfect time. As you read this book, you will find yourself immensely grateful for your own blessings, as well as, asking yourself the question of, "How can I be an instrument of service to those who are hurting around me?".
This story is one of hope for the future. One boy's story of how he overcame incredible odds and become a man who helped others do the same.
**As a part of the blogging network, I received a free copy of this book.
Merry Christmas from our home to yours. We are rejoicing in a beautiful year The Lord has given and this special day to remember and glorify our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace.
Here on the Ponderosa it is especially great as all our immediate and extended family is together for the first time in many years. There is love all around.
Although my precious mom is the only one missing, I rejoice because she is bowing before the very King of Kings this day and every day. I also rejoice because The Lord has filled my dad's lonely heart with a special lady.
May your homes be filled with love and laughter this day. May your eyes look to the Babe in a manger who became our very Redeemer who would save us from our sins!
I don't want to appear ungrateful or to be complaining. I have used this blog in the past to journal about the many paths this life has taken me and the others here on the Ponderosa down. And sometimes it's messy and sometimes it's ugly. But I have confidence in the end that it will all be beautiful.
Those of my friends who have children with struggles. Children who suffer from some sort of trauma. Do you ever just want to ditch it all in and run away? Run away where no one can find you? I am tired of hearing, " I hate you." Every single moment is filled with a fight. Every. Single. One. I am drop dead tired.
