The Wolf's Story

Since I can't stop thinking about my last post, I thought I'd find a visual for Jay and Katherine Wolf's story:

Enjoy! And be awed by God!

God Uses the "Special"

I have a beautiful daughter who has special needs. She is now 16 years old and growing more beautiful day by day. Her heart and soul ooze Jesus. This is the epitome of beauty.

But this doesn't take away the hurt and struggles that she lives with daily. Especially as she ages, she sees these differences.

She has had a couple of meltdowns frustrated at her inability to understand or be able to discuss things with others her age that she can't get. But overall, she has come to an understanding of God's miracle in her life and the mantra we drilled into her...."God cares more about your ability to love others, to show kindness and overcome evil with good, than He cares whether you know how to add or subtract."

As I was reading through the book of John this week I came across a story in chapter 9 that I have heard many, many times before. But as I read about Jesus healing the blind man from birth, it struck me how it all came to happen.

Jesus was with His disciples and they questioned Jesus about this blind man they saw on the side of the road. The blind man never cried out to be healed. There is no commentary except the disciples wanting to know why he is blind. Jesus says an amazing thing: "This happened so that the power of God could be seen in him." We see that after Jesus healed him, he testified to the religious leaders, believed and worshiped the "One" who did this.

Now, I'm pretty sure that at the time of his birth, his parents did not think to themselves, "God made our boy special to be used by Him to proclaim His glory." I am pretty sure they were hurting and struggled to accept this initially. I think most parents do. But how exciting for them later on to have their son healed.

 Yet, you read in the narrative, that they were afraid to tell the religious leaders who healed their son, because they had announced anyone proclaiming Jesus was the Messiah would be expelled from the synagogue. But, their blind son, who now saw, believed.

In this age of euthanasia and throwing away of those who don't measure up; in this world of medical pressures to abort when faced with a "special" baby, we must remain steadfast that God's glory is on display. Choosing life is choosing God's way. Choosing life is choosing for God to work in ways that we have a hard time seeing initially because of our own pain. I know several families who have children with down syndrome. I know those who care for their precious children with the utmost care and believe without a shadow of a doubt that they are placed in this world to be God's glory-shiners.

I have a beautiful daughter who radiates God's miraculous work. I have been asked by doctors, nurses, and other professionals what we did to help her excel as much as she has. I then, have an opportunity to gospelize. I have a starting point at which to say, "God; He is the maker of all things beautiful. He gives us wisdom. He gives her understanding that she may not have ever had otherwise."

So I leave the blind man with Jesus and head to John chapter 10, ready to read about my Good Shepherd, who watches over the souls of those He loves. I know whatever may happen to my little lamb as she ages, she has a Wonderful Great Shepherd who will never leave her.

He is Willing! (Even Though It May Not Look Like it)

Matthew 8:1-3
"When he came down from the mountain, great crowds followed Him. And behold, a leper came to Him and knelt before Him, saying, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." And Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, saying, "I am willing. Be clean." And immediately his leprosy was cleansed."

What great faith!

Faith to believe and not doubt. Faith that has 100% trust that God is able. And Jesus shows such compassion. He rewards this mans faith with healing.

I realize that God does not always act in this way. Those times when our prayers are not answered immediately, He is still working in our lives to produce faith in us. This time last year, my world crashed around me and our family. I begged God to remove this trial. He chose to take us through it. His answer was, "No, I am not willing to remove it, but I am willing to be with you carrying you as you persevere."

Praise Jesus for His sustaining mercies. They truly are new every morning. My faith has grown despite still not having the "answer" I want. But I have a God who I can trust no matter what falls around me. He is my High Priest.

He answers my prayers, but not necessarily in the way I would like. He is teaching me to love in a deeper way than I have ever been challenged before. This road is hard and full of potholes (maybe sinkholes is a better description). But my Great God will sustain me. He will uphold me. He doesn't lie nor glory in seeing us suffer. He is glorified as we suffer and shine the light He has placed in us.

So, yes, there are many deep soul needs here on the Ponderosa. God knows them all and will answer in His time and for His purpose. And I trust in this.

Keep Making Me

My new favorite song. Keep Making Me, by Sidewalk Prophets, is an amazing prayer of humility. So often in life we want the cush, the glamour, and the ease. But, really friends, we know this is not the path to true Godliness. Suffering is the means to being more like Christ. 

"Make me broken, so I can be healed

(Repentance is a true sign of brokenness)

'Cause I'm so calloused, and now I can't feel

I want to run to You with heart wide open

Make me broken."

(This I ask of God to become a prayer from my boys' heart.)

Make me empty, so I can be filled

'Cause I'm still holding onto my will

(Empty? Really? These are the petitions that the world does not understand.)

And I'm completed when you are with me

Make me empty.

'Til You are my one desire; 'til You are my one true love

(He must be first in everything. Oh, Lord, please remove the idols in my life.)

'Til You are my breath, my everything

Lord, please keep making me.

Make me lonely, so I can be Yours.

(Loneliness is where we find our desperate need for Christ.)

'Til I want no one more than You, Lord.

'Cause in the darkness, I know You will hold me.

Make me lonely.

3 Years

I can't believe it has been 3 years since the Lord took my darling mother home to be with Him. April 21st will forever be seared in my mind. Though that day became pain free for mom, our lives were changed forever.

There are still so many days where I think of her or go to call her. I want to tell her, "Listen to "Inger" read." or "Mom, I need you to pray. I'm having a rough day." And she would tell me, "God is using this, Sarah Jeannie." She was always a constant source of encouragement to me and our family.

It's amazing as life goes on, how much more I become thankful for this special woman in my life. She inspires me to be the mom I need to be.

I know I love to have people over to my home because she did.

I know I love to serve and help in the body of Christ because she did.

I know how strive to love all people around me because she did.

I know how important God's Word is because she did.

I am the mom I am because God gave me an amazing mom (and dad).

(This is one of my favorites the year before she died. Anyone who knows mom can appreciate this.)

Beauty

Thought for the day:

He makes all things new. In His time. For His glory.

He is the ultimate Healer. Of hard hearts. Of hurting souls.

He brings beauty out of ashes. Dust becomes jewels. Trash becomes treasure.

Only through Him.

A Prayer for Healing

My Dear "Hoss",

Remember this? "You are my sunshine; my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You never know dear; how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away." This was one of my favorite songs I would sing to you as I rocked you each night.

Well, today, you are far away having surgery on your hand. I would give anything to be there with you and maybe, embarass you while I sing this song. (Little do you know right now, I will be seeing you in a tad over 24 hours) The last three years have been a struggle. You remain close to my heart. Though at times I feel it breaking, I know God is holding it together.

My prayer for you, today, is that you will find your comfort in Christ alone. I know this incident with your hand is not a coincidence. I know this was a divine interruption in your life. This bull, this beautiful bull, God is using to refine you and draw you. I have confidence, that in the greatest amount of pain, this is when we cry out to the Lord. "Hoss", may this be what it takes to move in your heart.

I love you more than words can say. I know one day you will know this too. I'll love you fovever, my little bear.

Believe!

As I am faced this week with my daily cross, I am reading through the book of Mark. As I approach the eleventh chapter, I again am reminded by my Lord to believe.

As they passed by in the morning, they saw the fig tree withered away to its roots. And Peter remembered and said to him, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree that you cursed has withered." And Jesus answered them, "Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."

Believe! This word seems so easy, so small, just rolling off of my tongue.

But it is the hardest thing to do in the midst of a trial. Last week a dear friend suffered a massive heart attack. He is still unresponsive. Yet, we can believe God to do the impossible. We MUST believe God. We must believe Him to perform his will, but we must pray in light of what our desires our as well; as long as our desires line up with His Word.

So, Lord, we come today and ask you to heal our brother, Tim Borland. Bring physical healing to his body. Open his eyes and wake him. Reduce the swelling in his brain. Make his body whole. Restore Him Lord. And as I lift our brother up to you, I also think of my precious boy-man. Open his eyes spiritually and renew his heart. Give him a willing mind. Heal his hurts. Restore our relationship. Bring him to his knees at your feet.

The Greatest Miracle of All

My great God can do anything; heal the lame, give sight to the blind, make the ears of the deaf opened. But the greatest miracle of all is Salvation; turning the heart of stone to a heart of flesh.

Hurting Hearts

The Puebla Ponderosa is hurting right now....Please pray for us.
Thank you, Rick, for this timely word...


Whatever You're Doing
(Sanctus Real)

It’s time for a healing, time to move on
It’s time to fix what’s been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It’s time to find my way to where I belong
There’s a wave that’s crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

Whatever you’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, somehow there’s peace
It’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see
But I’m giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone, time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender

Whatever you’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, somehow there’s peace
It’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see
But I’m giving in to something heavenly,
something heavenly

Time to face up, clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I’ve wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever you’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You’re up to something bigger than me
Larger than life, something heavenly

Whatever you’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
You’re up to something bigger than me
Larger than life, something heavenly,
Something heavenly

It’s time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out