A Few Small Steps

The last few months here on the Ponderosa have been tumultuous, to say the least.

"Mr. Cartwright" continues to deal with his heart going into Atrial Fibrillation very frequently. The good news is he has medication to take when his heart rate gets too high and he is learning how to navigate through each episode. If he can keep calm, that's half the battle. We know it will pass within a few hours. We will go back to see the doctor in a couple of months.

On another note, look at this boy-man of mine! Can you see the smile? The contentment?  

                                  

After my visit last month he has done a 180 degree attitude change. I know his heart is happy, for mine is. We were able to talk through so much when I saw him. I can't help but think, "He knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that we love him no matter what he has done or said. He knows we forgive him." Our telephone call yesterday was so positive. I asked him about his walk with the Lord. He responded with, "It's great!" Something I have not heard before. Will the journey stay here on the top of this mountain? Oh, I'm sure not, but I am so thankful for these baby steps he is making. There is a maturity I hear in his voice and words. Things like, "I'm learning patience and how to be a leader."

See his arm? This is a result of God's perfect plan for my "Hoss". The bull he and I will never forget.

 Do you remember this ? And, may I ask you to send me one, if you haven't for I have started this project and I know that God is working. In Him. And me.

God is Faithful!

This is my mantra for the last week and future weeks of my life. When the waves roll over my head, I remember, "God is faithful."

I left to see "Hoss" on Wednesday, July 18th. What a fantastic visit. We talked, laughed, and definitely have started the baby steps of reconciliation. God amazes me. He allows these blooms in times of despair and I fall on my knees in thanksgiving. 

While visiting "Hoss", "Mr. Cartwright" called and told me he was taking himself to the E.R. with another more severe episode of atrial fibrilation. Needless to say, even in this, God was working. You see, much of "Hoss'" anger has been directed towards his dad. Some identity issues. This was a little bit of a wake up call to him.

This rainbow the Lord sent my way the first morning walking to the cafeteria to surprise "Hoss". It was an amazing picture of the presence of the Lord in my visit to him.

God even provided us an opportunity to see a Double AA baseball game while I was there.

His glory astounds this Momma. God directed every step of my journey. I do ask you to pray for the next few steps in the journey concerning "Mr.Cartwright's" heart. We see a cardiologist this Thursday to determine the next step. They are looking at a procedure called ablation. More than anything we are confident in our Master Healer. He is the healer of physical, emotional and spiritual hearts.

Unworthy

(Luke 71-10)

Jesus has entered Capernaum. The crowds continue to follow him. Sadly, they are following for their own needs to be met, as well as just seeing Him as a prophet.

The crowd seems to be a mixed group of people. There are always those who have sincere faith who really desire to know this Jesus.

²Now a centurion had a servant who was sick and at the point of death, who was highly valued by him.³When the centurion heard about Jesus, he sent to him elders of the Jews, asking him to come and heal his servant.

Notice the religious leaders request of Jesus.

⁴And when they came to Jesus, they pleaded with him earnestly, saying, "He is worthy to have you do this for him, ⁵for he loves our nation, and he is the one who built us our synagogue."

Notice the centurion's response.

⁶And Jesus went with them. When he was not far from the house, the centurion sent friends, saying to him, "Lord, do not trouble yourself, for I am not worthy to have you come under my roof. ⁷Therefore I did not presume to come to you. But say the word, and let my servant be healed.⁸For I too am a man set under authority, with soldiers under me: and I say to one, 'Go,' and he goes; and to another, 'Come,' and he comes; and to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it." ⁹When Jesus heard these things, he marveled at him, and turning to the crowd that followed him, said, "I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith." ¹⁰And when those who had been sent returned to the house, they found the servant well.

There was an extreme change in response. I suspect the first request was from hearts of the religious leaders. They were always concerned for the outward; wanting to "look good"; making note of what people did instead of their motives.

Jesus is always concerned with the heart. So many times he reprimanded the religious leaders for this.

My heart? I know the truth of Jeremiah 17:9. My heart is deceitful and desperately wicked...I don't even know the measure of this. But my Jesus knows. I pray for his mercies every day.

Jesus saw the Centurion's true faith, and rewarded it.

Are you worthy or unworthy?

Am I Listening?

Yes, I am listening. There are sounds all around me.

Water running, the clatter of dishes that prove there are busy little hands working diligently.

A little person "reading" a story to herself, using inflection that I have heard somewhere before.

The cough of my "Little Joe" as he slumbers on the couch in a fever induced sleep.

Beautiful tinkling of the wind chime that beckons the rain.

Again, I ask,"Am I listening?"

Listening to the right things; in tune to the Lord and His Spirit that resides within? There will always be busyness of sounds around me, but do I take the time to ponder what my Master wants me to hear?

When I "need" Him, He is there listening and hearing me call on Him.

Lord, help me to hear you, not with my physical ears, but with ears of my heart; my heart that so easily strays from you; my heart that tunes in to things that are idle interests and not life changing.

John 10:27-28 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.