Eagerly, Oh You of Little Faith...

"In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; In the morning I will order my prayer for you and eagerly watch." Psalm 5:3

Lifeless, faithless and "just" words. This is how I feel so many times when I am pouring my heart out to the Lord. I often ask myself, "Do I really believe what I am saying or asking for?" Now, before you express your concern, I must tell you I self-talk a lot. And I do end up answering with faith, that, "Yes, I believe."

My faith, though, surely is weak at times. As I read this verse this morning, it encouraged me to order my prayer (sacrifice) and eagerly wait in expectation. I know God hears. I know prayer is real. I remember our faithfulness journal that we have kept and see how He has answered. My Father in Heaven does desire to give me His good gifts. I know He desires to hear me cry out to Him. He wants to see me seeking after Him. Even when my prayers are not answered in the way I would like or at the time I think would be helpful. So I go to the Word of Life, the Wonderful Words of Life.

Psalm 31:24 "Be strong and let your heart take courage; all you who hope in the Lord."

Psalm 130:5 "I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait; and in His Word do I have hope."

Psalm 130:7 "O Israel, hope in the Lord, For with the Lord there is lovingkindness, and with Him is abundant redemption."

Lamentations 3:24 "The Lord is my portion, says my soul, Therefore I have hope in Him."

Believing for His Glory...Not What I Think Should Be!

As I am reading through Comforts From the Cross, by Elyse Fitzpatrick, I am in awe. You see, the internal struggle I have been fighting seems unbearable at times. Yet, my God knows what I can handle and I must trust Him. 


Each day, Elyse takes me through a view to the cross that must minimize my sin, self and struggles. In light of the cross, all this is momentary light affliction. But, believing is what I really struggle with. This morning she encouraged me with the story of Lazarus. Here's how she did it:

*"When we'ere facing the prospect of lifelong pain or the possibility of final separation from a beloved friend, it's easy to think that we know what would best glorify God. When it's my pain or loss, I think that God's glory would be seen most clearly in my immediate deliverance. But when I look at this story (Lazarus), I see something different. I see Jesus raising a man who had been in the tomb four days, and I know that nothing is impossible. Sure, He could have instantly alleviated the family's suffering, but JESUS IS MORE INTERESTED IN OUR ETERNAL CURE THAN HE IS IN OUR TEMPORAL RELIEF."


*"He is not capricious, picking petals off a daisy: 'I think I'll help them, I think I won't'. He's bearing your suffering and has entered into every bit of it, but He is waiting. Perhaps your deliverance will come before your next breath; perhaps it will come as you take your last. I don't know. But I do know that He has made a promise to you: 'if you believe you will see the glory of God (John 11:40)."


*"Hang on to Him in faith and imagine you will see the glory of God! Your eyes will be opened to see how truly wise, powerful, and good He is. Somehow, in some way hidden to your weak eyes, your suffering is making a way for that to happen. I don't know when your 'Lazarus' will rise, but when he does, you will see something you never could have imagined. You will see God's glory, you will begin to see Him as He is, and then you will understand."


I hang on to this. I strive to believe. I cry out, "Lord, help my unbelief."

The Unexpected...But How We Should Expect.

What do you do when you get a phone call from a car rental dealership saying, "Mrs. 'Cartwright', you have a secret Santa that has paid for you to have a mini van for your upcoming trip to Missouri?" knowing you plan to drive your 13 year old van on a 3,000 mile trip? The same van that makes noises from unknown places?


You say, "God is amazing, always faithful!"


We, here on the Ponderosa, we keep a journal called, "God's faithfulness to the "Cartwrights". It has just gotten longer. My God never ceases to amaze me. Just last night my hubby and I were crying and praying in bed, asking for God's forgiveness for not really believing He can do the impossible.


Our Master can do it. He shows His love and mercy in such tangible ways. He cares for His children and dazzles us so often with His grace.


Santa did not do this, but one of our God's children did.


Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!


Lord, continue to help our unbelief.

I Want To Believe!

One of the greatest human love stories in the Bible is the story of Isaac and Rebekah.

I have been reading the book of Genesis this month and just finished up this great story. Abraham wanted a wife for Isaac but only wanted one from his family line; not the heathens who lived around him. Great decision!

Abraham sent his servant to the land from which he had come to find his family. The servant arrived at a well and sought the Lord of his master, Abraham.

"Then he prayed, “LORD, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”

He was a wise servant. But did he really believe God to do this? Do I really believe God to work in ways in my life and family?

The next thing he knows, a woman has arrived at the well. And, would you believe the answer to his prayer came, just as he asked!

"Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful."

As I read this verse, I thought to myself, "Duh? Didn't he get it. This was the exact answer he was looking for." It happened almost as if he didn't believe it could be just so.

Then, my thoughts turned inward.

"Do I pray, believing God to answer? Do I just mouth the words in obedience or do I really believe He can and WILL do what I ask?

Now, I know some of you may say, "But we must ask according to his will." I whole-heartedly agree. But so many times that can be a cop-out for true belief. So I say as the Father of the demon-possessed child did,

"I believe; help my unbelief!"

Do we REALLY believe?

Do we REALLY believe that out God answers prayer? Now, I know most of us pray, but I believe that many times we pray because we know it is the right, Christian thing to do. But as we come before the throne of the Almighty, do we REALLY believe He can and will do what we are asking? I want that kind of faith, the kind of faith that believes and, therefore, lives out what I believe. For example, every hour and waking minute, my heart and soul are crying out for my son, "Hoss". (See Aug. 29th post) This trial has stolen my joy, but I am painfully aware that my joy has left in the midst of a kind of unbelief. Maybe lack of faith is a better word for it.  Joy can and will remain even through the most painful times, but if we don't believe in the deepest recesses of our souls, we will not have the joy that overflows. I'm not talking about happiness. I won't be "happy" until our family is restored, but I know I can have the joy of the Lord that will be my strength. What are you pleading with God for? He is the God that answers prayer. But do we REALLY believe?

I read these verses today...Lord, help my unbelief.

Psalm 66:16-20
"Come and hear, all who fear God, and I will tell of what He has done for my soul. I cried to Him with my mouth, and He was extolled with my tongue. If I regard wickedness in my heart, the Lord will not hear; But certainly God has heard; He has given heed to the voice of my prayer.  Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer nor His lovingkindness from me.