the plates crashing on the walls.
the wailing sobs of a woman in deep agony.
the frustrated pleas of a soul being crushed.
the constant, "WHY, Lord?"
AND YET, you can also hear...
complete surrender to the Lord spoken with deep prayers.
many utterances to Jesus confessing anxieties and distrust.
"Thank you, Master, for these afflictions."
My mind has been so full of confusing thoughts throughout the last year. And many days I have done or said all of the above.
So a dear friend of mine (you know who you are, sister) has helped me to weed through my desperately deceitful heart and ask the hard questions...
"Am I angry at God?"
"Am I shying away from God's Word because I really deep down inside don't want to commune with the God who allowed these things in my life?"
I am so thankful to the Lord for His precious promises that will never fail. I realize my Savior knows every pain and hurt in my heart, but I am also, fully aware, that I must completely give all my hurt to the Lord and not respond with fear or sin. God's Word never fades away. Blessed be His name.
1 comment:
Oh dear friend, I feel for you deeply. For other reasons, I can understand and have experienced similar. I have railed at my Lord, and then have repented. I have been angry at God. I have wondered where He is when I cry out to Him. Thank God that He is far bigger than anything, anything we can say or do or think. He knows our hurts and He knows our hearts. He will provide and sustain. It's the waiting that is SO hard. God bless you today, and always.
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