Just a Touch of His Ministering Spirit

I don't know if I have ever experienced the intensity of people's prayers like I did last night and today. God knows how much I can take. After a tough end to the week, I put on my smiling face to meet with brothers and sisters. GOD MET ME!


A sweet friend let me know, 
"Last night (Saturday) your boy was really on my heart. I don't know why but I lifted him before the Lord." 
Thank You, Jesus.


We came home from church and made our phone call to our son that we are able to do every other week. He sounded down. My voice broke at the end of the conversation. I try not to cry with him listening. I couldn't help it, yesterday. We hung up. I broke. My heart actually felt broken in two pieces. My chest hurt. My love held me. I got up to love on my other treasures. As I checked email I found this:
"I just want you to know that I am praying for your whole family today." 
Thank you Jesus!

The rest of the night ended well. Sleep was fitful. I rose early to seek my Savior for strength and help. Another of my sweet friends posted this on my wall:

"Verses from this morning's reading... Psalm 123:1-3 NKJV  Unto You I lift up my eyes, Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their masters, As the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress, So our eyes look to the Lord our God, Until He has mercy on us. Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us! Hope you are encouraged. Love you and am praying for you today." Thank You, Jesus!

School went great. Spelling arrives as well as a call and email from my sister.

"Hey, sis- I meant to tell you last night I had an overwhelming urge to pray for you while I was cleaning up the kitchen.  Of, course, I have "Hoss'" picture on my window sill, but I felt such sorrow while I prayed. I almost felt what you were feeling. I love you and am so thankful we have the Lord to carry us through such times as these. If I was there, I'd give you a big hug. Love you." 

Thank You, Jesus. 

So needless to say, I have cried many more tears. This time out of thankfulness to God. I wonder what He is doing. I also wonder what the enemy has wished to destroy. I know the power of God is incredible. There must have been some spiritual battles waging of which I do not know.

I raise my hands in praise.

(Those of my sweet bloggy friends who have left messages, I thank you as well.)

If He Can Calm the Sea....

then He is capable of calming me.

My boy is hurting. Just when I think all is well and better, knew feelings arise and I get worried. No. Scared.

Choices are made that put my stomach in a knot. I feel sick and want to puke. Anxiety returns and I struggle to breathe. I remember....all those days....

So I stop. Look up. Remember THE day.

*The day my Savior made a way. The special day in a 5 year old's life when His Spirit came to reside.
*The day He brought my beloved into my life.
*The day that I am sprawled on my bed in tears and asking why. My Jesus comes near and touches me.
*The that I learned about my boy. The day I learned he wouldn't be. The  I day held him in my arms.(That was a roller coaster.)
*The day He placed my other three treasures in my arms.
*The day and many more when He is the only hope. He is the only Truth. He is the only Way. He is the only Sustainer of life.
*The day He showed me the simplest promises in His Word.

I wish there was only one day when I surrendered my lamb to the Lord. But there are many. I keep taking him back. I know Jesus is the only Healer of hearts. I fall down to my knees and lay him at the scarred feet of my Savior.

Friends, I ask for your prayers. The next couple of weeks are crucial in some decisions we have to make concerning "Hoss". Please pray for the heavens to open and provide what we need to keep helping our son.

God knows what He is doing. I must just trust. This is the only job I have.

Book Review - Called to Controversy

I admit. Writing a book about my father, without being bias, would be very difficult.

Ruth Rosen has done this. Called to Controversy is her biography of her father, Moishe Rosen, the Founder of Jews for Jesus. She does an amazing job informing the reader of the beliefs of the Jewish people as well as how the family structure of a Jewish family works. In my readings, I had heard of Jews for Jesus, but had never known the history behind it.

God saved Moishe in a pretty specific, radical way. Moishe was a man with passion for the lost, especially the Jewish people, as well as for the Word of God. Many times he came across abrasive and, humbly, worked things out. As I read this book, I realized, again, the individual growth in each person is a work of God, not for me to judge. God will deal with his children in the way He deems fit. Moishe was used by the Lord in a very strong way to bring the Gospel to many. In the early days, he was involved in the Jesus Movement, and later days in many different people's lives all over the world.

He was a man who finished well. This is the key to a successful, Christian walk.

As a part of the Booksneeze blogging network, I received a free copy of this book.

Patience.

God's patience is....I am speechless. So when my precious ones keep testing mine, 
I will think on the example of my Lord. 


(Those of you that do not prefer this style of music, please listen and meditate on the words being spoken.)

Pictures of the Princess Party

Our Princess is 13 today

We've made it. My daughter, who is one of the most precious treasures ever given to me, turns 13 today.

She has grown in amazing ways, but most importantly, her heart is aimed to Jesus, and for this I am thankful.

Today we are celebrating with a Princess Tea. "Marie" and I have been taking in the book, The Princess and the Kiss. We have been using the study guide that goes along with it, and have had some rich discussions. (Those of you with Tweens, ages 8-12, I heartily encourage this book.)

Her cousins and aunts will be joining us later today. We will celebrate her near approach of womanhood. I have come to know the truth behind the importance of character over knowledge. You see, my beautiful "Marie" has so many hidden struggles, yet who she is on the inside radiates all around her. I am so thankful for her.

And later today, she is getting this. SSSHHHHH!!! Don't tell!

P.S. I will post pictures later from our special day.

The Extent of a Merciful God

It seems that everywhere I read in the Scriptures, no matter how sinful the people were, God always extended mercy.


Judges 1 and 2 was where I meditated today. 


Joshua led the people into the promised land and gave them the orders of the Lord before He died.  The Israelites failed to obey. Every single tribe failed to drive out the heathen and idolaters in the land they were given. The cycle continued.  The anger of the Lord burned against them; He verbally reproved them; they lifted up their eyes to heaven, wept and sacrificed to their God.


Judges 2:10 "All that generation also were gathered  to their fathers; and there arose another generation after them who did not know the Lord, nor yet the work which He had done for Israel."


The baton was not passed. The mandate given to the people in Deuteronomy 6:7-8 was forgotten.


Lord, help me to pass your goodness and the Gospel on to the next generation by my daily interaction with my children. Help me to NOT forget to instruct them. Grant me strength in this task.


So, one would conclude what is stated next; "Then the sons of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord and served the Baals, and they forsook the Lord their God...."


The cycle: God's anger burned; He gave them over to their enemies; wherever they went the hand of the Lord was against them.


As I read verse 16 of chapter 2, tears began to flow.


"Then the Lord raised up judges who delivered them from the hands of those who plundered them." WHAT??? They don't deserve this Lord.


I don't deserve this.


The mercy God displays to His children is astounding. I need this mercy every day. God's love and covenant with His children is never-ending. His promises to Abraham WOULD be fulfilled. His promises to me, His child, WILL be fulfilled.


I am awestruck by this mercy.

Quote of the Day

"Surely that man must be in an unhealthy state of soul who can think of all that Jesus suffered, and yet cling to those sins for which that suffering was undergone. It was sin that wove the crown of thorns; it was sin that pierced our Lord's hands and feet and side; it was sin that brought Him to Gethsemane and Calvary, to the cross and to the grave. Cold must be our hearts if we do not hate sin and labour to get rid of it, though we may have to cut off the right hand and pluck out the right eye in doing it."

-J.C. Ryle, quoted by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Holiness

We are all a Prodigal at One Time or Another

Facing day to day the reality of what has happened to our family makes me examine my relationship with my spiritual Daddy. I am rebellious and love the world more than Him way too often. This song is for me as well as my Hoss.

Only Her!

The past couple of days I have thought about my mom quite a bit.

I miss her so much. There are days when I can hear her voice still. Days when I am singing that I hear her song ring out. Days I look in the mirror and she is looking back at me. (The older I get, the more this happens.)

I was and still am blessed to have had a mom who cared for me in the way she did. She had a way of getting things done. No obstacle in her way. (The Walmart managers can attest to this)

She was full of life.

But, lately, I have been mulling over her death. I know. Not somewhere I should be hanging out at too long. And yet, there was such beauty and peace through the last couple of weeks in her life. I was so thankful to have been there to care for her. I can still smell her hair. Many times a day I would comb it as it would help her to relax. There are times I can't believe she is gone. This week has been just one of those times. Wishing I could pick up the phone and tell her that I'm quitting this thing called "mommyhood".

Tell her that I can't do this another day.
Tell her that I am so frustrated at teaching my children.
Tell her that I just want my boy home.
Tell her that I love her.

Then I would hear her say, "You can do it." I would hear her laugh that infectious laugh and tell me what a great   job I am doing. Only she can say it the way she did.

The most beautiful thing about her death was the presence of the Lord during those days. He was there with us. He gave us the grace to face death...of her body. But we have complete assurance that she is alive and well. Christ beat death. He gives us life.

I mull on this some more.