This Momma Loves Her Boy

Today is another special day. My biggest's Happy Gotcha Day. It seems like we just celebrated it. Time is going too fast. And he is away from home. This makes the heart sad. Every year, we celebrate these special days with each of the children. We write them a letter each year to remind them of God's special plan for their lives. This year "Hoss" is not here to celebrate. I'm not sure he would want to. So I pray and write to my Father in heaven instead.

My Jesus,

You started a work in "Hoss'" life 15 years ago today. You placed him in my arms. Sitting at the Tampa International Airport my arms became full; my heart became fuller. His sweet little face shone up at me. I knew You were in the midst of this.

This. This has become so hard. So difficult. Yet, I believe You are still in this. Though my boy is so much bigger now, he still can fit in this heart of mine. You answered a prayer when I asked for a child. You gave me three more.

God, I know that I have asked you so many times to do the seemingly impossible. I believe You are answering. In Your time. In Your way. I know you love this boy more than I do. I know you promise to work all things out for our good; for I love you and am called according to Your purpose.

Purpose? I have asked, "What is the purpose of this?" You patiently bring be back to Your Word and remind me of Your purposes.

So I thank You. On my knees. Full of tears. Open heart.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Book Review - Then Sings My Soul

Off all the books, I have read to review here on the Ponderosa, this is, by far, my favorite.

Robert Morgan has brought the beauty of the old hymns to the heart of the modern believer. Then Sings My Soul is an amazing journey through the past 200 years of hymn writing; therefore, of the lives of saints of old. Contemporary Christian music has hit an all time high in revenues and availability, but an all time low in content.

In the spirit of being modern, we forget the importance of these old beloved hymns. What's even greater in the writings of Mr. Morgan is his ability to help us jump on the pages of time and get to know the authors of these beauties.

Not only do we learn about the lives of those who penned these hymns, but the author takes the time to educate us on the eras of hymns from the ancient Biblical times to now. Most believers now a days have no understanding of these facts.

As a home school mom, this book will become a permanent part of my curriculum. I cannot neglect to teach my children the history behind these beautiful songs.  

As a part of the Booksneeze Blogging Network, I received a complimentary copy of this book.

Two Special Christmas Gifts

I have tried to make each of my children a crosstitch pillow. Here are the two I made for my girls this year for Christmas. Thanks to my Dad's wife, Lindi, for sewing the pillows. And as a special gift she made matching nightgowns for each of their American Girl dolls.

It's NOT your right!

The American way..."It's my right!"


God's way....1 Corinthians 8:9-13
"But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone sees you have knowledge eating in an idol's temple, he will not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brothers, and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble."


Food, drink, modesty, television show, movies, any form of entertainment, money, etc.


These are all things fellow believers' consciences differ in. And we must take the high road to encourage our neighbor, not bring down.


So often, we are so self-focused that we are blinded to the fact, our sin is not against our brother, but against Christ who paid our ransom. When we cause a fellow brother to stumble, we are seeing our liberty as more important than their growth.
Self-centeredness.
Plain and simple.


I find it interesting that the Apostle Paul did not say, "If food makes my brother stumble, I will abstain until he has matured." What he does say is, "I will NEVER eat meat." 


Putting our brothers and sisters ahead of our own desires and loving them more important than ourselves. 


After all, this was Christ's attitude as He laid down His own life for us.

Through the Eyes of a Special Five Year Old

Sundays are always a great time for friends and fellowship after church. I grew up with hospitality always being shown on Sundays. So, yesterday we had some friends over to catch up. Their five year old is my littlest's best friend.

There are so many times children speak profoundly when not even knowing it. Yesterday was one of those times.

As I was tying this little one's shoe, he noticed I had two pictures up on my wall that are remarkably similar. Curiously, I probed his little mind to see if he would notice the differences. So, I asked him what he saw that was different.

"The bowls are different colors."

I asked again...and again...and again.

"The Bibles are different colors."
"The bread looks different."
"The bowls are not the same."
"The man's shirt is a different color."
"Their beard's are different."

The only left to do was hug this precious boy who is being raised color blind.

If only the world viewed men through these lenses.

Thank you, little Will, for your precious heart.

Complete Surrender

As I am reading through Surrender, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, I am struck by the fact that my heart fights against this.

I am prone to anxiety. I am, at times, racked with worry. I have not surrendered my son completely.

I must.

Nancy quotes a poem by Ann Blocher before she went home to be with the Lord. She fought the battle with cancer, and in the midst of this, wrote these beautiful words:

Yes, Lord! Yes and Amen!

"Can you trust Me, child?

Not only for ultimate eternity,

of which you know next to nothing,

and so are not tempted to meddle-

But for the little span of your life between

the Now and Then, where your envision

decline and separations and failures,

impairments, pain, bereavements, disappointments-

Do you find Me qualified to Lord of your last days?

Oh-yes, Lord! YES, Lord! Yes and amen!

Can you trust Me, child?

Not only to synchronize the unthinkable

intricacies of creation-

But to work together for the good the gravities

and tugs within your little orbit,

where your heart is pulled by needs

and lacks you wish, but are destitute, to fill-

Do you find My resources adequate

to feed both the sparrow and you?

Oh-yes, Lord! YES, Lord! Yes and amen!

Can you trust Me, child?

Not only for the oversight of nations

and creations not of this world-

But for those beloved ones I committed

to you and you committed to Me-

Do you believe Me trustworthy to perform

the good work begun in them

until the Day of Jesus Christ?

Oh- yes, Lord! YES, Lord! Yes and amen!"

-pg. 204-205, Surrender by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Another One For Those Needing Freedom...Namely My Hoss

Book Review - The Search Committee

The Search Committee, written by Tim Owens, is a unique read. You, sort of, feel as if you are in a soap opera or reality show. The read is easy as you follow the lives of those serving on a pastor search committee for a church. It shows the humanity of man as a group of people, male and female, from every sect of life. Each person struggles in some way as they strive to work together for the common purpose of finding a shepherd for the church they are part of. 

Though this book seems shallow somewhat at first read, but you really become engaged as you get to know the  various people involved. And you feel for them, too.

I think the grand premise I took away from this book is that all people, no matter their position, are human and struggle with life as we all do. Unfortunately, even in the realm of church and ministry, people fail. Ultimately, that is why we keep our eyes on God instead of man. 

The only negative is that I would have liked to read more about the true answer to people's problems, namely, Jesus Christ. True change comes from above. 

I received a free copy from the Tyndale Blogging Network.

When the Night Comes

Darkness is an amazing thing. The Bible has so much to say contrasting light and darkness. Darkness is so often viewed with evil, sin, and deceit. After all, so many crimes happen in the dead of night, not the light of day.


Jesus is the Light of the World. We are to be reflective of THE light and to shine forth our lights. We are to be cities set on hills that cannot be hidden. We are commanded to not put our lights under a bushel. Our Lord is the lamp to our path and a light to our feet. Light dispels all darkness.


When the night comes and darkness sets in, I sometimes feel as if I can't even control my thoughts. Things that I know are not real, become real. Anxiety is strong. Fear takes a foothold. 


So, I can relate to the Psalmist as he cries unto Jehovah:

"When I remember You upon my bed, and meditate on You in the watches of the night, for You have been my help and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy." Psalm 63:6-7

This is my plea as we go through this unknown time with our beloved oldest son. The future is uncertain. We don't know where the finances will come from to keep him in a safe place until he is ready to come home. This is fear. Deep in my gut.


But then, I remember. Peace floods in. Fear tries to creep back and I must push it away. And remember.


So tonight, I will not let my thoughts linger. I will not allow my mind to bring pain to my inner parts. I will remember the faithfulness of God.

Our Heart is Filled With Thankfulness

We are home.

And full of so many emotions.

After a long 8 months of not seeing our oldest, we were able to see "Hoss".

It was a good feeling putting my arms around him. There was lots of conversation and restoration. We praise God for this.

God still must work and we are trusting Him to accomplish this. We are on our knees daily surrendering our son to Him. Salvation is of the Lord! We pray for this.

One word to sum up this visit was realness...if that is a word. "Hoss" came out and was honest and truthful about all that has happened and the games that were played in the past. Though we wanted to hear that God has saved him and changed him, we are thankful that he was honest. We would must rather have a great relationship with an unsaved son, than have a mediocre relationship with a Pharisee.

So, friends, we ask for your prayers regarding the following:

1. Salvation to "Hoss"; surrender from him.
2. When April arrives we have some decisions regarding financial and placement.
3. The many emotions for the rest of us, especially the children. They all miss him and struggle with coming back from seeing him.
4. God to continue to work in our lives to conform us to His image through this trial.