God Understands

There are times in every believer's life that we have no words to express to our Lord the grief in our hearts. Whether it be grief over death, sin, wayward children, sickness, marital problems, etc., our Lord is there to hear and understand. And, what a gift, that we don't even have to utter a word...He just knows. I often think how people without Christ cope. I guess the answer is, they don't.

Lately, in my own life, I haven't had too many words to offer our Lord, other than, "Help!" Frequently, this is said in between tears. But, Oh, how our Lord understands and knows whatever pain I am feeling.

I am overwhelmed by these thoughts:

Christ died to set me, the sinner, free from sin.

He is my High Priest and give me access to my Heavenly Father.

He NEVER fails me; I fail Him often!

The Light of the World is with me and will never leave me, even when going through the valleys.

He stands ready to forgive, time and time again.

Thank you Jesus, for you everlasting lovingkindness!

The FPEA Home School Convention 2009

Each year my hubby and I are able to get away together to the annual Florida Parent Educators Association Home School Convention. We usually use this time to refocus, pray for the children, and make decisions for the next school year. This year they came with us. Here is part of our journey.

The first night we ate dinner with some good friends of ours.

I intended to get some good photos of the exhibit hall...what was I thinking???? Way too many things on my mind to grab my camera and snap pictures. So imagine a convention center with a couple hundred vendors selling everything from home school material to giving information away about different branches of the armed forces to trying to get you to attend various attractions in Orlando. There you have it.

The convention ended on Saturday evening, but we stayed one more night in our hotel and had a "fun" day on Sunday.

Enjoying the pool at the hotel.

"Marie" loves to be in the water.

It's hard to get Hoss on camera!!!

We stopped by the Bass Pro Shops. "Mr. Cartwright's" favorite past time is fishing. There is a huge aquarium that you can watch fish being fed.

"Little Joe" likes to golf once in a while with his daddy. He even owns a Golden Bear golf club set.

They notice more than we think....

Daddy, taking time out to give a few pointers.

As we drove in the car, Little "Marie" is always wanting to hold "Hoss'" hand. This always touches my heart.

The Pink and Red Song

Can any of you guess which song this is?

My littlest one has dubbed "Jesus Loves the Little Children of the World", the Pink and Red Song. Can you imagine if God created people pink? :)

But seriouly, too many times we see the colors of God's creatures (humans) too vividly. May our eyes be opened to the way God sees His creatures. God doesn't see color. Just as God reminded Samuel at the annointing of King David, "Man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart," we need to be ever mindful of this.

You could say this is the biggest "soap box" in my life. Even though we are in the 21st century, it is amazing how much prejudice is out there. Granted, we have an interracial family, here on the Ponderosa, but it is truly amazing how many "looks" we still get and even a comment once in a while. God created all people equal. It is only because of sin that we have a screwed up view of each other.

Here is a good test to see where your heart is:

Hypothetically, if you were walking in a dark parking lot all alone and an African American young man started walking behind you that you didn't know, what would your mind be thinking?

Reality...that could be one of MY sons!

Pride: It's a dangerous thing!

I am convinced ALL sin comes from pride.

It comes disguised in:

A child's excuse for naughty deeds

A teen's excuse for unwise choices

A parent's lack of listening skills

A wife's unwillingness to submit

A husband's failure to lead

A friend's lack of compassion

A believer's lack of discretion of words

I encourage you to look at your life and ask God to show you those times where pride rears its ugly head. Most of the time you will find it masked, but always waiting for the opportune time. Pride is many times passive in its embark. We don't make a decision and say, "I am going to be prideful today". We just ARE!

Proverbs 16:18-19 Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. It is better to be humble is spirit with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud.

Lord, please open our eyes to the blindedness of our own hearts. Show us where we are proud and even where we are proud when we think we are humble.

Our Precious Daughter

Our dear "Inger",

You are becoming such a beautiful young lady, inside and out. There are so many things you have yet to learn, but we are just amazed at how our Heavenly Father has granted you more than any dr. ever said you could.

We had the privilege of seeing you at your spring piano recital last night. You did such a wonderful job. Your dad and I just sat back in awe of your ability to play the pieces you did. With God's help you have defied all the outlooks that the doctors had for you. We thank Jesus every day for his gift of you to us.

You have such a gentle spirit and willingness to help out. You have determination that exceeds anybody else in this family. Keep striving for more! Keep looking to Jesus to help you accomplish things for His glory.

Lord, Thank you for blessing this family.

Loving our Teens

The "Teen" Years; this is a title the world has given to our teens. I would prefer to see this as the 1st level of adulthood. This phase in our childrens' lives is a difficult one, yet vitally important time in their lives. Their minds and bodies tell them that they are adults and yet they have not even scratched the surface in knowledge of life experiences. They do not realize cause and effect completely either. Most importantly, in the grand scheme of spiritual things, they have only begun to drink this in. This is why they still have parents. The ironic thing is so many times they don't think they need them.

WE MUST STILL LOVE THEM!

I am just beginning to understand how vital this time in our lives is as well. This is a time when sanctification means a whole new thing; when our sin is exposed in a whole new way; when humility needs to be exemplified continually.

BEWARE OF PRIDE!

This blog has been very encouraging during those days of "Productive Conflict":)

We as parents were once where our children are and we must not forget to "remember" those days. Most of all I encourage all of you who are parents of "pre-adults" to be in prayer, really intereceding, for our precious "big" ones.

The Joys of a 3 Year Old and The Joys of a Wife

Our littlest cowgirl, "Marie", gets to go on a date with her Daddy tonight, and boy, she is so excited. While we were out running errands she was exulting in this:

"I have date with Daddy!!!"

"I go feed the duckies."

"I get ice cream."

"I go on date with Daddy!" (Screaming at the top of her lungs)

I am so greatful she has the daddy that she does. I am so greatful we have the leader that we do. My heart was almost as thrilled as hers, only for other reasons.

Keeping Our Eyes Fixed Above

My mind is usually cluttered with so many things each day that I fight keeping my thoughts on things above, being eternally focused. I desire to do this, yet it is a struggle I continue with. I think this is probably true for all of you.

Here are somethings that I have been trying to fix my mind on each day:

1. God is sovereign over all the affairs of men. (My problem is most of the time, I want more control)

2. He has designed those things in my life that wear me down to build me up spiritually to be more like Him. (This is a very uncomfortable thing)

3. He has not given me more than I can handle! (It only feels that way when I do it in my own strength)

4. Remember to look around and be thankful for the many blessings He has bestowed on us. (Sometimes the blessings are hidden by the thorns)

5. J.C.Ryle reminds me, "True love will always cause true obedience."

6. Romans 5:3-5 "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulations bring about perseverance, and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given us."

May this encourage you this day to cling to the Saviour despite what your mind is telling you and your feelings are relaying to you.

He is our all in all!

The one and only Mother

Mother's Day is right around the corner. Here are just a few :) things I love about my mother, Wendy Stebbins.

1. She tells me she loves me everytime we talk
2. All the times she took care of me when I was sick
3. Her "organizational" skills; this might be an understatement
4. Her resiliant attitude (endured cancer last year like a trooper)
5. Her love for other people
6. Her love for the Lord
7. Her chicken a la king
8. Don't forget her slab apple cake
9. Oh, yeh, just remembered, her banana cream torte
10. Her love for her grandchildren
11. She is one of a kind mom

Mom, Thank you for loving me and showing me how to love others. Even though I can't be with you physically, please know you are in my heart and on my mind this Mother's Day.

I love you!

Out of the mouth of babes

There are times in our lives when I am reminded of how precious our children can be. Last week as I was laying my youngest one down for a nap, unbeknown to me, I engaged her in a very theological discussion. We had just finished singing, "Jesus Loves Me" when I questioned her. "Who loves you the most?" She replied, "Jesus".

Little did I know that I just began a conversation with her that would stay with me for days.

Me: What did Jesus do for you?
Her: He died on the cross.
Me: Why did he die?

Here came the response: God killed Jesus!?!?!

I sat back unable to speak at first, not quite knowing what to say. I gently tucked her in and reminded her of how much Jesus loves her. Over the next few days, my mind kept going back to this loaded statement. I was continually reminded of Isaiah 53.

v.4 Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted.
v.5 But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening of our well being fell on Him, and by His scourging, we are healed.
v.10a But the LORD was please to crush Him, putting Him to grief...

This concept is very difficult to wrap our minds around, that God would crush His own Son. Jesus did not deserve to die. Out of love and obedience to the Father, He allowed men to kill Him. My thoughts also took me to Acts 2:23- "this man, delivered over by the predetermined plan and foreknowledge of God, you nailed to a cross by the hands of godless men and put Him to death." Man was responsible for the physical murder of Jesus, yet the Bible clearly states that this was God's plan. This should humble us to the very depth of our souls.

Praise be to God for his undeserved grace and mercy.

Thank you little one for reminding me of this truth.

So much to do, So little time, Losing my mind

Ten years ago, I never thought I would get to the point in my life that I need to write everything down in order to remember it. Well, here I find myself. No matter how hard I try, I forget. Even when I say it over and over in my mind, sometimes just minutes later, I can't remember. I'd like to think that I can at least remember what I walked into a room for....

This is the very reason Psalm 119:11 is important...we must hide God's Word in our hearts. These precious words are the vitality of our very lives. If we are to remember anything at all, may it be the life changing words of our heavenly Father. He has given us promises, commandments and exhortations that should overflow into all areas of life. I am in the midst of memorizing the book of James with my sister. May I recomment this site to help you in this effort of "hiding God's Word in your heart"

Today is also a special day here at the Ponderosa. "Little Joe" turned 11 today. I am so thankful for my dear second son. He brings joy to each day and always is full of laughs. We look foward to celebrating tomorrow at a local park. He is growing into such a fine young man, who exudes compassion and love to the people around him.